Why is this Happening to me?
by fantasyforever1989
Summary: Shin Sawada returns home from Africa three years after graduating from Shirokin High. The only problem is no one knows he is back. Shin got infected with a bacteria in Africa and decided to come home. How long will he be able to keep his illness a secret?
1. Chapter 1

Shin Sawada stepped off the plane, and blinked at the early morning light. It was only a few minutes after dawn and the sun was rising steadily over the mountains. He sighed and walked into the airport to get his bags.

"Has it really only been three years? It seems like I've been gone so much longer." Shin thought as he retrieved his luggage and called for a taxi. He closed his eyes and sighed as he stared out the window of the taxi; the scenery seemed so familiar, like from a different life, he thought as the taxi drove by a Japanese garden. He had been in Africa for the past three years ever since he graduated from Shirokin High. He had kept in contact with a couple of his close friends and had called Kumiko more commonly known as Yankumi once or twice, but that was about it. No one knew that he was back in Japan and he intended to keep it that way for a while, just until he could figure things out. If everyone knew that he was back, they would ask why, and he wasn't ready to tell people the reason he was back living in his old and near empty apartment. The taxi pulled in front of his old apartment, he paid the taxi driver then looked up. It seemed like an eternity that he stood looking up at the window of his apartment. He was just thankful that his parents were willing to keep paying the rent while he was away, their reasoning for this being "just in case he came back." Shin took this as his mother's way of trying to talk him out of going to Africa. Shin took a deep breath and let it out slowly as he walked into the building and unlocked the door.

He was halfway in his apartment when he heard a male's voice call his name.

"Sawada! Is that really you?" the voice said from behind, slowly Shin turned around and came face-to-face with his landlord, Shin looked up at him awkwardly, not sure what to say.

"Uh, yea. I'm back in town." Shin muttered to the floor, his landlord smiled.

"You've definitely grown up Sawada." He said, Shin nodded.

"Uh, look...no one knows that I'm in town and I'd like to keep it that way for a while, so would you please not tell anyone I'm back." Shin's landlord stared at him puzzled, then offered Shin a wry smile.

"I never did understand your logic when it came to certain things. Don't worry Sawada, I won't tell anyone you're back if that's what you want. It's none of my business, as long as you pay rent on time, or are your parents still going to be paying it?"

"No, I'll be paying it." Shin replied, he had thought of this, so he had written his parents telling them he felt like he should be paying for the apartment since it was legally his responsibility and it wasn't fair for his family to be paying the bills. The landlord nodded, then offered Shin another smile, Shin nodded back.

"Thank you." Shin replied before walking into the open apartment door and locked the door behind him. He threw his luggage on the floor then plopped down on his bed.

"Why is this happening to me?" Shin thought as he closed his eyes and fell asleep as the sun fully rose into the sky, flooding the apartment with light.

Shin didn't wake up until the next morning, groaning he pulled himself out of bed and into the bathroom and washed his face, he stared at himself in the mirror. His hair fell messily over his face and his eyes were slightly red. He sat down on the bathtub and pressed his hands into his face, trying to block out the nausea he suddenly felt. His mind began to wander.

"What would happen if he did tell his friends why he came home?...forget it everyone would just give me sympathy and be concerned for me, and that is the last thing I need." Shin took a deep breath, then after a few minutes stood up again and walked into his bedroom and got dressed. After he had finished dressing, he looked out the window, his mind still running wild. He closed his eyes remembering the events that had caused him to come back to Japan.

_Shin looked up exhausted__ from a hospital bed__ into the face of the__ African__ doctor who had __been trying to figure out what had been causing him to be sick the past couple of weeks__. He knew immediately by __the doctor's stern expression that he was about to hear some bad news, slowly he pushed himself up in the bed._

_"Well Sawada, do you want the good news or the bad news first?" Shin rolled his eyes._

_"Just tell me what's wrong with me? You've been trying to figure out what's wrong with me for weeks then you show up on my doorstep and tell me you want to h__ospitalize me to run some tests, enough with the secrecy, what's wrong with me?__" Shin rep__lied irritated that__ the doctor__ kept__ sugar coating everything, the doctor sighed then sat down in a wooden chair next to Shin's bed._

_"Alright Sawada__. I'm sorry for the inconvenience that I've caused, but for the record you've only been here two days." Shin continued to scowl at the doctor's expression as he continued talking__, two days in the hospital was two days too many_

_"Well, as you know__ your symptoms were very common symptoms for any number of diseases as common as the flu. Nausea, vomiting, fever, and stomach pain, but obviously as the pain got worse it became clear that you didn't__ just__ have the flu. But after running these tests, we've found that your symptoms are being caused by a bacterium in your stomach." _

_Shin looked up at the doctor at these words._

_"You mean the same bacteria that was being spread around at the place that I worked? How's that possible, I quit that job almost three months ago for that exact reason and found a similar job in a place that was bacteria-free.__ And if I had been infected wouldn't I have had symptoms earlier?" The doctor sighed._

_"I'm aware that you quit that job__, but this certain bacteria can be extremely difficult to diagnose as you have found out. Sometimes, people don't show any symptoms at all. It's likely that you contracted the bacteria while still working at your old job and didn't show any symptoms." Shin cursed under the breath so the doctor wouldn't hear, and then looked up at him, after an awkward silence._

_"So, what's the good news?" Shin asked__ darkly._

_"It's treatable; eighty-five percent of the people infected with this bacterium have had successful results from the treatment." Shin looked out th__e window at the African scenery and __absentmindedly__ watched some kids playing soccer in the open field, then slowly turned his attention back to the doctor who had been watching him intently._

_"And what about the other fif__teen percent?" Shin asked staring at his __bed sheets__. The doctor stared at Shin seriously._

_"Don't think that way Sawada. You can't give up before we've even tried anything."_

Shin shook his head bringing himself back to the present, he was still having trouble accepting that he had this bacteria, even though there was no way of denying it. Especially when he woke up nauseated every morning and when he had what he called "his episodes," which included severe stomach pain and constant vomiting, followed by chills, dizziness/light headedness, body convulsions and usually dehydration. The first time he had an episode, he had refused to see a doctor claiming that he just had a bad case of the flu. He went on with his days for the next two weeks or so, but still felt sick. After he had another episode one of his friends/co-workers practically forced him to go to the local clinic to get checked out.

"Damn it all." Shin though irritably as finished getting ready for the day.


	2. Chapter 2

Shin stood up and grabbed a jacket as he headed outside. He walked lazily down the street with his hands in his pockets until he reached a tiny coffee shop at the end of the street. He entered the shop and quickly found who he was looking for; he walked across the dining center and sat across a thin man with dark hair and chocolate eyes. He had plenty of muscle but appeared exhausted at the moment, but at the appearance of Shin, the man looked up from his coffee and smiled at him.

"It's been a while Sawada." the man said, still grinning, Shin nodded.

"Indeed it has Kaori." Shin replied managing a small grin. Kaori studied Shin.

"So, knowing you, no one except me even knows that you're back?" Shin leaned back in the chair and nodded.

"The only reason you know is that I need a job." Kaori nodded

"I know. When I came back from Africa six months ago it was hell getting a job." He paused as Shin closed his eyes.

"Damn! I forgot to take my medication this morning." Shin thought and cursed himself for being as careless as his stomach convulsed painfully.

"Are you alright Sawada?" Kaori asked Shin concerned, Shin nodded feebly.

"Yea, stomach ache, about getting a job?" Shin said quickly changing the subject, Kaori had worked with Shin in Africa, he was the only person that knew why Shin was back. Kaori smirked.

"Shin, you don't need to hide your condition." Kaori said slowly, Shin glared at him.

"Yes I do, I don't need sympathy or people feeling bad for me or being concerned about me." Shin said darkly. Kaori sighed knowing that arguing with Shin was pointless. He passed Shin a work contract.

"I gave my boss your résumé and after talking to him he'll hire you. Its labor work, similar to what you did in Africa. Mostly you'll be working on cementing streets, Shin nodded and sighed. He signed the contract and handed it back to Kaori.

"Keep it; you'll give it to Renjiro your boss. You start tomorrow morning, be ready at 6:30, I'll meet you at your apartment and show you where everything is. Shin nodded again.

"Thanks." Suddenly his stomach constricted again and he just made it to the bathroom as he vomited. Taking deep gulps of air and trying to block out the pain, he stood up and wiped his mouth on his sleeve. He walked back to the table where Kaori was waiting concerned.

"Are you alright?" Kaori asked worried, Shin nodded vaguely.

"I'm fine, I gotta go, thanks again." Shin muttered quickly as he left the coffee shop holding his stomach, leaving Kaori both confused and worried. Shin took several deep breaths, he knew he had to get back to his apartment fast to get his medication. The last thing he wanted was to have an episode in the middle of the street.

How had he been stupid enough to not take his medication?

"Baka." He muttered to himself, wincing in pain.

He climbed onto a bus knowing that he wouldn't be able to push himself to walk home. He sat on the bus his arms crossed over his stomach and his upper body doubled over, his head almost between his knees. He was sure he was getting some strange looks from people but at the moment he didn't care, as the pain in his stomach became unbearable. Somehow, he made it to his apartment and staggered up the stairs, one hand gripping the railing so he wouldn't fall over, the other still firmly on his stomach. Every movement he made felt like someone was stabbing knifes in his stomach, as he tried to do everything in his power to try and block out the blinding pain in his abdomen. As he reached the top of the stairs, Shin fumbled in his pocket for his keys and staggered into the apartment. He stumbled into the bathroom and grabbed an orange bottle with his pills in it. He popped three pills into his mouth then collapsed onto his bed gasping, his eyes shut trying to shut out the pain. Shin didn't know if it was minutes or hours that he had been laying on his bed. The only thing he was aware of was the constant pain and dizziness. He saw swirling colors and lights all around him. The next thing Shin knew, he opened his eyes and found himself drenched in sweat, he screamed out in pain clutching his stomach then rolled over and vomited twice into the waste basket. He rolled back over gasping and coughing, his world still a mixture of swirling colors.

When he woke up for a second time, he vaguely felt someone turn him on his side as he vomited again, causing his stomach to spasm. He coughed and against his will, cried out in pain.

"Take it easy Sawada." a voice echoed. Exhausted, Shin forced his eyes open and saw Kaori swim into focus holding a wet washcloth above him. Shin opened his mouth to speak but all that came out was a croak, his throat sore from vomiting. Kaori helped him into a sitting position and got him a glass of water, which Shin drank rather quickly. The water seemed to clear his head a little as he was able to focus on images without them turning into a fuzzy blur.

"How'd you get in here?" Shin asked Kaori weakly.

"You didn't lock the door." Kaori said smirking and holding up Shin's apartment key. Shin groaned as he sank into his pillow.

"How long have you been here?" Shin asked closing his eyes again.

"I don't know two hours maybe." Kaori replied shrugging.

"How did you know?" Shin asked, his eyes still closed, Kaori laughed.

"Shin, it was obvious you threw up, and then you left the coffee shop white as a sheet. I lived in Africa to and I've been around people with bacteria's. I knew that you would need some help." Shin turned away from him, wincing slightly.

"I don't need your help." Shin said quietly, Kaori looked up at him, then after an awkward silence, Kaori sighed and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Shin, when are you going to learn and suck up your pride and ask for help when you need it? There's no shame in needing some help right now. You don't need to handle this all on your own." Kaori said, staring straight at Shin, who didn't respond at first, then sighed.

"I have been so far, and I don't see any reason to change." Shin said weakly, just above a whisper. His body shook violently as he continued to sweat; Shin rolled over and let out an unwanted moan. He felt the cool washcloth placed across his forehead as if his body was a fire, and his world returned to a mixture of swirling colors, pain, and shaking.

When Shin finally regained his senses, he found that Kaori was still in the room.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, handing Shin another glass of water.

"Fantastic." Shin muttered bitterly.

"Your fever broke about a half hour ago, but you vomited a couple more times, you'll need to drink lots of water to stay hydrated." Shin glared at him.

"Since when did you become a doctor?" Shin said darkly.

"I'm not. Come on Shin, we worked in that field together and saw people getting sick every day, I learned how to help them."

"Yea, that's why I quit, but I guess not soon enough." Shin replied, staring at his sheets, engrossed in his own thoughts.

"Hey, if you get out of bed for five minutes I'll change your sheets. The one's you're laying on are soaked." Shin groaned, then pushed himself out of bed and slumped against the table as Kaori pulled off the wet sheets.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in this story, except the few that I created out of my imagination. Hope you enjoy!

The loud sound of a blaring alarm made Shin stir in his sleep, but he didn't wake up. He groaned annoyed by the noise, then still without waking, he clumsily reached his hand out from under the covers and hit the alarm before rolling back over comfortably.

"DAMN IT SHIN GET UP! You're going to make both of us late!" Kaori barked, annoyed at the sleeping figure in front of him as he shook Shin's shoulders. He had forgotten how excellent Shin was at sleeping. Finally, he managed to wake the groggy sleeping figure. Shin woke to find Kaori throwing him a clean pair of clothes. He moaned and turned back over not wanting to leave the comfort of his bed.

"Oh no you don't! Damn, you're just as bad as waking up a little kid." Kaori said grabbing the covers and throwing them off of Shin.

Giving in, Shin glared at Kaori, not appreciating being compared to a little kid. He yawned and dragged himself to the bathroom. He washed his face and had just finished brushing his teeth when the usual morning nausea hit him. Shin grabbed a glass and his meds out of the small cabinet on the bathroom wall and dumped three pills into his hand, then popped them into his mouth, washing down the bitter taste of medicine with the water. When he walked back into his room, he found Kaori sitting on his bed, slightly fidgety.

"Hurry and get dressed, you don't have time to take a shower, showing up late on your first day of work is a _really_ bad idea Sawada." Kaori said as Shin threw on a clean shirt and pants, grabbed his keys and wallet, rammed them into his jean pockets, and draped his jacket over his shoulder.

He glanced at the clock on his nightstand; it was a quarter till seven. The pair set off down the stairs quickly and hopped on a bus into town.

"So how did you get into my apartment this time? I know I locked the door." Shin said, and looked up at Kaori.

"I was pounding on your door for like five minutes trying to get your attention when your landlord walked by and let me in." Kaori answered as they got off the bus and Kaori led the way to their destination.

Shin sighed. When they entered the working area, Shin got a major flashback of working in Africa, Kaori seemed to notice Shin's stunned look.

"I told you it would be similar to the work you did in Africa." Kaori said, smirking slightly.

"Come on." He said, as he put a hand on Shin's shoulder and led him into a small building on the work site. Kaori knocked lightly on the second door down.

"Enter." A stern voice answered from behind the door, the two boys slid the door open and sat down across the desk of a man who appeared to be in his late forties.

Grey hairs were mixed with a mass of black, and there were a few lines on his forehead. The man studied Shin.

"I take it you are Sawada Shin?" the man asked, looking at Shin.

"Yes sir." Shin replied, bowing his head slightly. The man nodded.

"My name is Chikanatsu Renjiro and I'm in charge of this work site. From now on you will do everything that I instruct you to do. I don't tolerate anyone talking back to me. So if I tell you to do something, that's an order, no questions about it. Do you understand?" Renjiro asked, still studying Shin.

"Hai." the young man in front of him replied, and bowed his head again.

Renjiro nodded in approval. The boy looked like he was determined and able to work hard. He understood what Kaori had meant about this boy being stubborn yet determined. He could see it in the boy's eyes.

"Good, now do you have your worker's contract?" Renjiro asked, Shin dug into his jacket pocket and withdrew the contract and set it in front of his boss.

"Now, I'm assuming you've read what you've agreed to in here?" Renjiro asked holding up the contract.

"Hai." Shin replied again nodding.

"Very well, Yoshikawa, show him around and get him started on the west side." Renjiro instructed to Kaori, who nodded.

After Shin thanked Renjiro for the job, Kaori led him outside, and handed him a blue vest.

"You have to be in uniform any time you're working, you get a half hour break for lunch at 12:30. There are two shifts you can take, 7:00 am to 4:00 pm or the night shift from 4:00 pm to 1:00 am any questions?" Kaori asked as he slipped his blue vest over his shirt, Shin shook his head.

"No, just show me what to do?" Shin replied as he to slipped the vest over his shirt.

By the time 4:00 rolled around, Shin was exhausted. He spent the majority of the day dumping new gravel on deteriorating roads and repaving them. The roads seemed to never end, and he kept having to run back to the truck they were using to get more gravel. The only good part about the day was he stomach hadn't caused him too much trouble. He was grateful that his body had decided to give him a break on his first day of work. Shin was extremely grateful on the days when his stomach didn't bother him. Usually, at least once during the day, his stomach would constrict and cause a shooting pain, resulting in several minutes of discomfort.

Shin was starting to walk back to his apartment when Kaori ran and caught up with him.

"Want to go get a drink? My treat for making it through your first day of work." Kaori said grinning.

"Yea I guess." Shin replied with a shrug.

"Good, because I would have forced you anyways if you had said no." Kaori said smirking.

Shin flashed him a rare grin, probably because he was happy about his stomach.

"Come on." Kaori said, leading Shin into a nearby bar. The bar was filled with activity, Shin and Kaori managed to find to seats.

"What will it be?" a friendly bar tender asked as the two sat down.

"Two orders of sake." Kaori replied, setting his money on the counter, the bar tender smiled, and went to fix the drinks.

A while later, Shin leaned back in his seat completley calm and relaxed, he hadn't drank enough to get drunk, but he defientley felt the effects of the alcohol as every muscle in his body was relaxed.

"You seem happy." Kaori observed as he brought his glass to his lips, Shin shook his head.

"No, just relaxed." Shin corrected, Kaori smiled glad that Shin was having a good time, the guy defintely needed to blow off some steam and just lay back.

By the time the two left the bar, the sky had turned a deep shade of navy and stars were starting to peek out from behind clouds. They reached Kaori's apartment and Shin walked with him to his door.

"Tomorrow, be awake on time. Don't make me have to drag you out of bed again. You don't have to be ready until around 6:45. The only reason you had to go in early today was so you could meet with Renjiro. Shin nodded.

"Alright, good night." Shin muttered and turned to leave.

"Night Sawada." Kaori replied before shutting his door.

Shin walked lazily down the street, a breeze was starting to kick up. Shin swung his jacket off his shoulder and pulled it on. He was a few blocks away from his apartment when he heard a familiar voice that made him stop dead in his footsteps.

"Alright, I'll see you tomorrow then." the voice of Haruhiko Uchiyama said as he exited a shop with who appeared to be a co-worker.

Uchi was only a matter of feet away from him. Fearing that his friend might see him if he didn't act quickly, Shin darted into the nearest shop to hide, which turned out to be a book store. He walked away from the window and grabbed a book from a shelf and kept his face downward, in case Uchi happened to glance in the display window. Cautiously, he chanced a quick glance out the window and saw the back of his friend as Uchi walked past the store. Shin sighed in relief. He was determined to keep his presence a secret for the time being. He was no where near ready to open up to his friends about his disease and see their shocked faces. He absolutely hated people feeling sorry for him and he knew his friends would feel sympathy towards him no matter what he said if he told them about the bacteria inside his stomach.

"Shit." Shin muttered softly. That was what he thought of this whole situation, it was shit.

Once he felt that he had put enough distance between himself and Uchi, Shin left the book store and made his way back to his apartment. He threw his keys and jacket on the clear table near his bed. He started flipping through a magazine on his bed out of boredom, when his phone rang, startled for a second, Shin fumbled in his pocket before he extracted the phone, his mouth went dry when he looked at the caller ID on the phone, it was his sister Natsumi, he took a deep breath then brought the phone to his ear.

"Hello." Shin said calmly into the phone.

"Oniisan! I haven't talked to you in forever. How are are you?" Natsumi's bubbly voice came through the phone.

"Uh, fine. Just relaxing." Shin muttered quickly.

"What have you been up to?" she asked brightly.

"Nothing much, the same stuff really, working." Shin replied, he figured if he gave her short replies he would sound less suspicious if his tone gave away that he was back in town.

"How's the weather over there. It's still kind of warm here, but it will probably start to get cooler soon since autumn is coming up."

"Yea probably, it's hot during the days over here, but it can get cold at night." Shin lied quickly.

"So, what have you been up to?" Shin asked, attempting to steer their conversation away from him, Natsumi didn't seem to mind.

"Alright, mom and dad still drive me crazy sometimes." Natsumi said absentmindly.

"Yea, dad especially still drives me crazy at times." Shin replied to Natsumi's comment. Natsumi laughed.

"Hey, I hate to cut this short, but we're about to eat dinner. Is it alright if I call you back another time?" Shin lied, sounding as sorry as he could. The truth was it was getting harder and harder to think of things to talk about, and it made him too nervous to listen to silence over the phone. Natsumi didn't sound too disappointed when she replied. She knew her brother was busy, but she couldn't help but miss him.

"It's alright, I understand." She said sweetly.

"Thanks, I'll talk to you later." Shin said before ending the call. He sighed as he set the phone down on the table next to his keys, then laied down on his back, his legs dangling over the edge of his bed. After his near encounter with Uchiyama and the conversation with Natsumi, Shin realized just how nerve braking keeping the fact that he was back in Japan was. He knew from the beginning that it wasn't going to be easy keeping his prescense a secret, but he hadn't anticipated how nerve braking it was going to be. Sitting up, he grabbed a towel and headed to the bathroom to take a shower, hoping that the warm water would clear his head a little.

_I'm SO sorry it took me so long to update, I've just been kind of busy lately. I'll update ASAP, promise. And as always, I greatly appreciate reviews and comments. I love what you have to say good or bad, I like the input of my readers so I know what to improve or change. _

_Thanks! _

_Fantasyforever1989 _


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Gokusen characters. I only own the few characters I created out of my imagination. Hope you enjoy!

"Sawada, you done yet with that plaster yet?" a co-worker of Shin's called.

"Almost." Shin replied, wiping sweat off his face as he stirred the grey mixture for cement in front of him. Once the substance was mixed, he tilted the bowl full of the grey substance and poured it into a bucket. He then got up and dragged the bucket over to where the others workers were working filling in large crevices in deteriorating cement.

"Thanks, we need another two batches, so get to it." The co-worker said, taking the bucket from Shin, who groaned. It was 12:30 in the morning and he was exhausted. The person who was supposed to replace him on the night shift had called in sick, and since they were understaffed, Renjiro ordered Shin to work a double shift.

"Another half hour, just thirty minutes." Shin said to himself as he began to mix another batch of plaster. He yawned and shook his head trying to shake the weariness off with little success. His muscles ached and begged for rest. The cool night air whipped through Shin's hair and made his hands numb as he stirred the cold plaster.

"First time taking a night shift?" a voice asked Shin, who looked up to see a man in his fifties, he appeared old and worn. He sat down next to Shin with a large cup of coffee as Shin continued to mix the cement; he nodded at the man's question.

"Is it that obvious?" Shin asked the man, not looking up from the bowl filled with the grey substance, the man laughed.

"Let's just say I've been here a while and I only work night shifts and I've never seen you before. How long have you been working here?" the man asked leaning back in his chair.

"Two weeks." Shin replied yawning again.

"The name's Kinoshita Haruto, and you are?" Haruto asked studying the young boy with curiosity.

"Sawada Shin." Shin muttered, Haruto nodded and continued to study Shin.

"What's a kid like you doing a job like this for? Shouldn't you be in school? You look like you've been out of a high school for a day." Haruto said, Shin scowled at his comment. It wasn't the first time he had been told that he looked young, but it still annoyed him. He was also taken aback by the question of why he was working here. Getting into that conversation could lead to why he was back in Japan, and that was definitely not a topic he wanted to discuss with a man he just met.

"I graduated three years ago." Shin muttered in response, wishing he had the power to speed up time as he glanced at his watch yet again.

Haruto sighed, he had seen too many young boys throw their lives away doing labor work for the rest of their lives, this boy seemed like a smart guy and he wasn't going to let that happen to him.

"You're too young to throw your life away." Haruto said quietly, Shin stopped stirring and looked up at the man.

"What did you say to me?" Shin asked narrowing his eyes at Haruto, who stared back.

"I said that you're too young to throw your life away. I've seen too many boys throw their lives away working in the labor field. You seem like a smart kid, why aren't you at a university?" Haruto said, wanting to help the boy. Shin glared at Haruto, he was too tired, annoyed, and irritated to put up with this old man's comments. Shin rounded on him with an ice cold glare; anger was rising in his chest and was reaching a boiling point.

"First of all you don't know the first thing about my life, so mind your own damn business! Second, I'm not a fuckin kid so don't treat me like one, and don't you fuckin dare try to tell me how to live my life! It's my life, and I don't need some idealistic old guy to tell me what to do! JUST STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM…ME! " Shin was shouting, his body was shaking with rage as it pumped adrenaline like mad throughout his body. All the anger that Shin had bottled inside was erupting like a volcano. He was already on edge every day as is, and being exhausted and hearing the questions and statements that Haruto had triggered that volcano to finally erupt. But as the wave of anger slowly faded, Shin suddenly leaned against the table he was working on, his breathing coming in harsh gasps, his head was spinning. Haruto had stepped back out shock from the boys sudden outburst, but he rushed forward as the boy looked like he was about to pass out.

"Sawada! Are you alright?" Haruto asked putting a hand on the boys shoulder, he shrugged it off. Shin closed his eyes for a second, trying to let the dizziness pass. He knew what was happening, it had happened once before. He had pushed himself past exhaustion working and had gotten in a heated discussion with his boss in Africa, then the next thing he knew he was flat on his back. Sure enough, Shin felt the blackness on the edges of his mind attempting to take over. He cursed himself silently for getting himself in almost the same situation.

"Sawada!" Haruto said desperately as the boys face turned a shade paler. Shin staggered as he took a step, but he couldn't force himself to go any further, his head was pounding too violently for him to see anything straight as the blackness tugged on his mind.

"I'm…going to" but Shin couldn't finish his thought, before his stomach constricted and he vomited at the same time his legs gave way. Haruto acted quickly as he caught the unconscious boy in his arms and gently laid him on the ground.

"Hey, what's going on?" another man said as he noticed the commotion and rushed over.

"Shit." The man said as he saw Shin unconscious on the ground. He pulled off his vest and gently picked up Shin's head and laid the vest down as a pillow.

"His pulse is really quick." Haruto observed as he grabbed Shin's wrist.

"Sawada! Come on wake up Shin!" the second man said as he shook Shin gently in an attempt to rouse Shin; he got no response.

"SHIN!" Kaori rushed over to where his friend lay unconscious. He didn't have to work the night shift, but he knew Shin would be exhausted when he was done, so he had gone into an empty room in the small building and curled up with a blanket for the past couple of hours until 1:00 where he would make sure Shin got home. He knew Shin hated being taken care of, but he needed someone to look out for him even if he didn't want it. His watch's alarm went off at 1:00 and Kaori got up to go meet Shin, but he froze momentarily when he saw Shin lying on the ground.bv

"What happened?" Kaori asked as he knelt beside Shin.

"I don't know exactly. He was angry and was yelling and then the next minute he was gasping for air, he wouldn't really let me go near him, then he vomited and passed out." Kaori sighed, Shin had just over exerted himself.

"Get two bags of ice and Luke warm tea, quick!" Kaori said, the man beside Haruto stared at Kaori confused for a second then quickly ran off to get the items.

"Come on Shin, relax, calm down." Kaori said rubbing Shin's shoulder trying to wake him, Shin stirred slightly but didn't fully wake; instead he made a sound between gasping for air and a gag.

"Just relax Shin, you're alright, try and take deep breaths." Kaori said soothingly.

"How do you know" Haruto began.

"This isn't the first time I've seen something like this happen. He just over exerted himself. Combine that with exhaustion it's no wonder he passed out. We have to get his heart rate down, that's what the ice is for." Kaori explained not taking his attention away from the now semi-conscious Shin.

The man from earlier reappeared with two ice packs and the tea in a to-go coffee container. Kaori placed one of the ice packs on Shin's chest and patted his face and neck with the the other. A few seconds later, Shin let out a dull moan and his eyes fluttered open. The first thing he was aware of was something cold on his chest; the second was that Haruto was next to him. He took a deep breath and coughed.

"Easy now, just relax, take deep breaths." Kaori instructed again, still sponging Shin's face and neck. Slowly, Shin pushed himself into a seated position against the table. He felt drained, like the small ounce of energy he had, had been sucked away.

"His pulse is back to normal." Haruto said as he let go of Shin's wrist for the second time, Kaori nodded.

"Good; Shin, drink this. It'll help you get a little strength back." Kaori said shoving the to-go container into his hands.

"I'm fine." Shin said weakly, desperatley trying to act as if nothing had happened. He dreaded the day that his colleagues found out about his "condition" as Kaori referred to it.

"Shin, just drink the damn tea." Kaori said sighing. He expected Shin to be difficult; who glared at Kaori for a second then brought the luke warm liquid to his mouth and drank. Satisfied, Kaori turned to the other two men.

"Thanks for your help, but you can go now. I'll make sure he gets home alright." Kaori said

"I don't need a baby-sitter." Shin said darkly, Kaori ignored Shin's comment.

The second man nodded, and turned to Shin before getting up and leaving

"Take it easy Sawada, and be careful." He said with a grin then left.

"I'm sorry I made you so upset. It wasn't my intention. I was just looking out for you. I guess you could say it is a habit of mine to look after the young people here. I never meant to control your life." Haruto said apologetically, staring Shin straight in the eye.

"It's alright. It wasn't your fault that I passed out." Shin muttered not looking at Haruto. He slowly pushed himself up into a standing position.

"Get some rest, and take care." Haruto said, patting Shin lightly on the shoulder before leaving, once Haruto was out of ear shot, Kaori turned to Shin.

"Did you take your meds tonight yet?" Kaori asked, Shin shook his head.

"No, why?" he asked wearily and annoyed.

"Because, you could have over exerted yourself more easily because you didn't have the medication helping you."

Shin stared at Kaori, he knew that he was right. He absolutely hated the fact that he got tired and strained so easily now. Back in high school he could have easily worked for a full day, now, it drained him. Shin also hated the idea of being dependent on medication. It killed him every morning and night when he swallowed his prescribed pills. It made him feel like an eighty year old. He cursed, frustrated then turned back to Kaori.

"Look, stop acting like my damn doctor alright. For the last time, I don't need your help!" Shin snapped as he started walking off. Kaori followed him.

"Shin, whether or not you want it I'm going to help you. You may not want it, but you need it, at least for a little while." Shin sighed, knowing that no matter what he said, he wouldn't be able to get rid of Kaori.

"Come on, let's get a taxi." Kaori said, Shin nodded giving in.

The minute Shin closed his apartment door behind him; he fell onto his bed and without sitting up, kicked off his shoes and rolled over. Without bothering to take off his clothes, Shin pulled his blanket over him and was asleep in less than five minutes.

_**Again I am SO sorry this took so long to update. I kind of had a writer's block so PLEASE tell me what you thought of this chapter/story in general.**_

_**Always Thanks,**_

_**Fantasyforever 1989**_


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gokusen or any of the characters. **

_"__But I thought you said the treatment would work?"_ _Shin said exasperated. The doctor sat down on Shin's bed._

_"Shin, listen to me. You knew from the beginning that the treatments were not one-hundred guaranteed." _

_"Yea, and you said not to worry about that." Shin said to the doctor coldly, not looking up at him. The doctor sighed._

_"I understand that you're upset, and I promise you that we've done everything we can to help you this far, but I really don't see another choice." The doctor replied in a gentle and kind voice. Shin shook his __head;__ his thoughts were running a hundred miles per hour._

_"No, I won't do __it;__ I won't have any form of surgery." Shin said, his eyes were cold and bore into the doctor's sensitive and caring eyes._

_"Shin please rethink your decision." __The doctor said in a pleading yet comforting tone._

_"You said that it won't kill me. If I'm not in danger of dying I don't see the point in having surgery."_

_Shin replied. He swallowed a lump in his throat and took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down._

_"You're right Sawada, the bacteria won't kill you but you'll be miserable nearly every day! I don't want to see you like that." The doctor replied. Shin looked up at the __doctor;__ he could see genuine concern in his eyes. He closed his eyes and leaned back into his pillow taking several deep breaths. He opened his eyes when he felt a hand on his shoulder and saw his doctor studying him closely._

_"Don't make a decision right __now;__ take some time to think about it. I'll be back in a while to check up on you." Shin just nodded. As soon as he heard the door click as it was closed, Shin brought his knees to his chest and rested his elbows on them. He covered his face with his hands and once again closed his eyes. 'I won't have the surgery no matter what. I can't go through that.' Shin said to himself as he made a decision. _

_'No.' he thought, 'I won't go through surgery. I'll manage this on my own.' All of a sudden, there was a loud beeping sound. At first he thought it was his heart monitor but he quickly realized the sound was too loud and that the monitor hadn't changed its __rhythmic__ tone. _

Shin Sawada sat bolt up in his bed gasping. He cursed under his breath then leaned over and hit his alarm off. He sighed, sitting up in bed. It was Saturday, and his first day off of work. Shin groaned, he desperately wanted to curl back up on his bed and go back to sleep, but if he took his pills after 10:00 he knew he would pay for the rest of the day. He leaned his head against the headboard and shook his head, trying to forget the dream he had just had. Shin hated it when he dreamed of the times he was in the hospital, but this dream was the one that bothered him the most…he hated being reminded of the dreaded surgery his doctor had insisted he have done to try and reduce the bacteria. A few days after this incident, Shin had packed up his bags and bought a one way plane ticket to Japan.

Finally, Shin dragged himself out of bed and into the bathroom and got ready for the rest of the day. After a while he became hungry and realized he was low on groceries. Grabbing his wallet and his jacket Shin left his apartment, making sure that he locked the door behind him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Natsumi glared at her bedroom door, trying to control her anger. She had been trying to write an essay for the past two hours but her father had chosen this day of all days to hold a business party with a few other prestigious figures in the political field. So far, the men socializing in the living room had been very loud and distracting. They kept getting into very heated discussions that Natsumi could clearly hear through her closed bedroom door. She had tried putting on music to tune them out, but her father had knocked on her door after a few minutes of the music had been playing and told her it was rude to blast music with guests in the house. When she responded by saying that it was those guests that were making it hard for her to concentrate on her schoolwork, her father merely apologized for the inconvenience and claimed that they would be leaving shortly. Two hours later, they were still in the house loud as ever.

"I can't take it anymore! She screamed frustrated. She slammed her textbook and anything else she needed to finish her work into her backpack and slung the bag onto her back. She ran down the stairs and grabbed a key off the wall in the kitchen; her mother looked up at her when she was almost out the door.

"And where are you going?" She asked with a cup of coffee in her hands.

"Out, I need a quiet place to study and finish my schoolwork. Is that alright?" Natsumi asked. Her mother smiled at her.

"They can be rather loud can't they? You know how your father gets when he starts debating." Natsumi's mother said, still grinning. Natsumi offered her mom a small grin and rolled her eyes.

"Don't remind me." She said.

"Just be back before dinner." Her mom added as Natsumi opened the door.

"I will." Natsumi replied, then closed the door behind her.

She let out a sigh of relief. It felt good to be out in fresh air. She really did need to finish her essay but there was no point in not enjoying the simple pleasure of being out of her house. She smiled, inhaling the fresh air as a slight breeze whipped her hair. Natsumi couldn't go to the library to study because it was closed on the weekends, and she knew most of her friends were out, so she made her way to the place that she always went to when she needed to get away; Shin's apartment.

When Shin had first decided he was going to Africa and his parents had agreed to keep paying the rent for his apartment, Shin had given them the spare key in case they ever needed to get into the apartment. Natsumi was the only one who ever used the key. Shin's apartment was her hideout, her place to escape to when she needed to get out.

She made her way up the stairs and unlocked the door to Shin's apartment. The minute she opened the door she gasped and dropped her bag out of shock. Shin's clothes were scattered randomly on the floor and the bed wasn't made up. She ran into the bathroom and saw that her brother's toiletries were there.

"How…how could he be back and not tell anyone?" she gasped as she made her way to the unkempt bed.

Natsumi continued to scan the room. By the look of things, Shin had been back in town for at least a week. He was too settled in to have just arrived, and his suitcase had been tucked securely under the bed. A sudden wave of fear swept over her. Was something wrong? Shin did everything for a reason. What was he up to? Her fear became mixed with anger. Shin had never lied to her, and it hurt that he hadn't told her he was back. Natsumi bit her lip nervously as she tried to decide what to do. Should she call him?...'No, I want to face him.' She thought.

"I'll just have to wait for him to come back, even if it means spending the whole day here." She decided

Natsumi pulled out her schoolwork sighing. She tried to keep her mind busy and concentrate on her work but her mind was running wild with too many questions and nerves to concentrate properly.

"I hope you come home soon Shin." She whispered to herself then looked out the window in desperation.

_**Okay, I know it has been FOREVER since I last updated and I truly apologize for that. I have had a lot of papers to write and I've had midterms. College life has its stressful moments. **__****___

_**I know some of you probably thought that I stopped writing this story, but I do have an ending and plan on finishing this story. And I promise that I will bring Yankumi and the guys into the story. However, this will not be a Shinkumi fic (sorry to disappoint all you Shinkumi fans). Again, I'm very sorry for the late update. **_

_**As always reviews are greatly appreciated. Thank you very much!**_

_**-Fantasyforever1989**_


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I do not own Gokusen or any of the characters.

Shin began walking back to his apartment with two full bags of groceries in either hand; he pulled his jacket tighter around him as the wind began to pick up. Suddenly, Shin winced in pain as his stomach had a spasm. Shin stopped walking for a minute and closed his eyes, he opened them once the pain had passed and continued walking, cursing under his breath. Once he made it to his apartment, he fumbled in his pocket for his keys, sliding one of the grocery bags on his wrist.

Little did he know that a girl on the other side of the door put her book down suddenly, and held her breath as she heard the key being pressed into the lock. Shin closed the door behind him with his foot then turned around. His eyes widened, and his mouth went dry as he saw his sister stand up from his bed and stare at him. Before he knew it, he was being squeezed to death by Natsumi. Shin felt paralyzed, he couldn't move, he couldn't speak, he was too shocked. There was no way he could get out of this one, he was trapped. Now that Natsumi knew he was back in Japan there was no way he could keep his presence a secret anymore. After a few minutes, Natsumi broke the embrace and stared her brother straight in the eye. Shin stared back at her, his brain frantically trying to think of something to say to her but he couldn't think of anything. Suddenly, Natsumi's expression changed from happiness to anger.

"Well! Aren't you going to explain yourself? Aren't you going to tell me why the hell you came back without telling me? Why you lied to me? Natsumi shrieked.

Shin swallowed a lump in his throat as he watched his younger sister. Pain and hurt was written all over her face. Shin took a deep breath, then looked away from Natsumi.

"I'm sorry." He whispered was all he could manage to say.

"That doesn't answer my question Shin. Why? Why didn't you tell me?" Natsumi pleaded. Shin swallowed again and sat down on his bed.

"I…well…it's just that…let's just say some things happened and I decided to come home." Shin said awkwardly. He didn't want to go into detail that he had a medical condition that caused him pain and discomfort every day in front of Natsumi.

"That's not a good enough answer. I know you Shin, something big had to have happened. Please! Tell me what happened!" Natsumi pleaded as she stared into Shin's deep eyes.

Shin opened his mouth to say something, then closed it, he repeated this action.

"Look, I don't have to tell you everything little thing that happens in my life." Shin said, avoiding the answer, Natsumi glared at him concerned.

"This isn't a little thing. This is huge. Look Shin, I've always come to you when I needed someone to lean on, I know something's wrong I can tell by your expression, you're scared. You can't keep everything bottled up inside, if you do one day you'll explode. I don't want to see you break down. I want to be here for you." Natsumi said gently, her concern overtaking her anger at Shin.

Shin took a few deep breaths, Natsumi's advice reminded Shin so much of his old homeroom teacher Yankumi that he couldn't help but smirk.

"You sound so much like Yankumi." Shin said, turning to her, Natsumi grinned at the comment.

"Well, she was always right when it came to situations like this." Natsumi said, Shin smirked.

"Yea, she did." Shin answered. There was a pause where Natsumi waited for Shin to finally confess what was bothering him. When it didn't come, she sighed.

"Okay fine, if you won't tell me why you came home can you at least tell me when you got here and when you are going back to Africa? Natsumi asked part of her a little afraid to hear the answer.

"I've been back home for a couple weeks now, and I… well, I don't exactly plan on going back to Africa." Shin answered choosing his words carefully so he wouldn't give too much away. Natsumi was startled how long Shin had gotten away with no one knowing that he was home, then again, Shin always had been sneaky. However, the second part of the answer made her extremely happy.

"You mean you're home for good?" Natsumi asked in disbelief, though she was ecstatic that her brother was going to be staying home. Shin nodded to confirm her statement. She smiled at him then stood up.

"I'll be back in a minute; I have to go to the bathroom." Natsumi said. Shin nodded. He let out a long sigh. Of all the things he had planned on doing on his day off, finding his little sister in his apartment when he opened his door was definitely not something he had planned.

Natsumi was washing her hands when she noticed that the medicine cabinet on the wall was open. She went to close it when she noticed an orange bottle filled with prescription medication. This startled her, Shin hadn't been to a doctor in years, he was too damn stubborn to go see a doctor, let alone accept a prescription from one. Then again, she had no idea really what Shin had been up to in Africa Natsumi knew one thing for sure, something was definitely wrong with her brother. Curious, she picked up the bottle and read the name of the drug. It didn't sound familiar and she had no idea what it was used for. This worried her even more; she had hoped that the prescription was something for the flu or another common disease. Natsumi gripped the bottle in her hand tightly then walked out of the bathroom; Shin looked up at her when she entered the room. He could tell immediately that something was bothering her.

"Are you sick?" Natsumi asked Shin bluntly before he could say anything. Shin tried not to show his surprise at the question. He swallowed again, trying not to panic. Did Natsumi figure it out?

"No, why would you say that." Shin lied quickly, Natsumi continued to stare at him.

"Really? If you're not sick then why do you need these?" Natsumi asked as she tossed Shin his medication. Shin gasped; once again Natsumi had trapped him.

"Who gave you permission to go through my stuff?" Shin snapped coldly, setting the pill bottle on the small table.

"I didn't go through your stuff, you left the cabinet opened." Natsumi replied gently. She sat down next to her brother.

"Oni san, let me help you. Tell me what's wrong. Don't you remember what Yankumi said to you that day at the police station? It's okay to show weakness sometimes. Everybody has times when they need someone. There's no shame in asking for help when you need it." Natsumi said, she offered Shin a smile in hopes that he would open up to her.

Shin took several deep breaths, his eyes were beginning to sting, but he refused to let himself cry in front of Natsumi. Silently, he cursed himself for letting his emotions get the better of him. Shin hated it when Kaori told him he needed help, but the words sounded different the way Natsumi said them. Finally, after a few minutes Shin was able to calm himself down. Natsumi rubbed his shoulder affectionately, noticing how upset her brother had become. Shin let out one last staggering breath, then opened his mouth.

"You're right Natsumi, I am sick." Shin said softly. He took another quivering breath then continued. When he told Natsumi something, it was either nothing, or the whole truth. "I came back to Japan because I got infected with a bacterium in Africa and I didn't want to have surgery to fix it because it wasn't even guaranteed that it would get rid of the bacteria. I'm not going to say it doesn't bother me much because it does. I wake up on the verge of vomiting every morning and it hurts almost every day. The medication keeps it under control somewhat, but it never makes the pain go away really." Shin finished, then looked up at Natsumi. She had her hand over her mouth and her eyes were filled with a mixture of sympathy, worry, and sorrow.

"Oni san." Natsumi whispered as she wrapped her arms around Shin. This time, Shin returned the affection back and wrapped his arms as well around her. Natsumi stroked the back of his hair in a soothing manner, which helped Shin from breaking down. He closed his eyes and wrapped his arms tighter around Natsumi.

"It's okay Shin, you're not alone anymore." Natsumi said smiling slightly. After several minutes, the two siblings broke apart from each other. Neither one of them spoke, then finally Natsumi broke the silence. She looked at the clock and grinned at the time. Around this time of day, Shin's friends from high school all met at Kuma's restaurant for lunch.

"Come on, let's go somewhere to eat." Natsumi said.

"I don't really feel like going out. Besides, I just bought all these groceries for that exact reason." Shin said indicating to the two bags on the floor.

"Oh come on, it never hurts to get out, and we have some major catching up to do." Natsumi said grinning even more sweetly. She had a feeling that Shin wouldn't go and see his friends if she told him to, so she ignored the guilt she felt and tricked Shin into going with her. Shin sighed; finally giving in, just like Natsumi knew he would. They both grabbed their jackets as Natsumi abandoned her schoolwork. Shin was more important than some dumb essay.

"I'll always be here for you Oni san." Natsumi whispered to herself as she watched Shin.

"I promise." She said to herself as Shin locked his door.

_**Hey Everyone,**_

_**Once again, I apologize for taking so long to update. I promise that the next upcoming chapters will have the guys in it as well as Yankumi, but like I said before this will NOT be a Shinkumi fix (sorry to disappoint you Shinkumi fans) **__****__**I will update as soon as possible. I hope you like the story so far.**_

_**As always, reviews are greatly appreciated; you have no idea how good they make me feel. Even if it is a bad review, at least I know that people are reading my story. **_

_**Thanks, **_

_**Fantasyforever1989**_


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I do not own Gokusen or any of the characters, except for the characters I made up.

Shin couldn't help but side glance at Natsumi as they walked along the semi-crowded streets of Japan. Shin was always good at reading his sister and right now his instincts were telling him that she was hiding something, she kept biting her lip nervously like she always did when she was scared or nervous. Shin sighed then turned to Natsumi.

"So, are you going to tell me what you're hiding from me or am I going to have to force it out of you?" Shin asked with a casual smirk, Natsumi looked up at him with a similar expression.

"I'm not hiding anything from you." Natsumi said defensively, hoping Shin wouldn't see through her lie, unfortunately he didn't.

"You were never good at lying to me either." Shin stated dragging his feet, Natsumi sighed heavily.

"You'll see in a minute, just don't be too mad at me when we get there. I truly believe that this is the right thing for you." Natsumi said quickly as they slowly came closer to Kuma's restaurant, leaving Shin in the dark, who looked back at her with a puzzled expression.

"What in the world is she talking about?" he thought, and suddenly a knot formed in his stomach that had nothing to do with bacteria as they rounded a corner.

As soon as the two siblings rounded the corner, Shin figured out exactly what his sneaky sister was up to. He stopped walking when they were a few feet away from the restaurant.

"I can't Natsumi." He said softly and began walking back in the opposite direction. He was only able to take two steps when a pair of hands grabbed his shoulder and forced him to turn around. Shin glared at his sister a combination of anger and anxiety filled his eyes.

"Come on Shin, they're your friends and they care a lot about you, they always have and they always will. They deserve to at least know that you're in town." Natsumi retorted giving her brother a reassuring smile, Shin however was still reluctant.

"You don't understand Natsumi…I can't see them…not yet at least." Shin said, he kept his eyes downcast and let his hair fall over his face.

"Go on." Natsumi said rubbing Shin's shoulder and back in a comforting manner; she sensed that Shin had more he wanted to say. There was an awkward pause, then Shin took a deep breath and looked up at Natsumi.

"I'm…I'm afraid that if I see everyone and they find out about me being…sick, well…I guess I'm afraid of how they'll react. I don't need everyone's sympathy." Shin managed to say. He was never good at expressing his feelings and it still felt strange when he did.

Natsumi stopped stroking Shin's back and gently squeezed his hand.

"I know, but like I said, you're not alone." She said smiling, Shin just nodded and after a minute or so he took a deep breath and walked the rest of the way to the restaurant.

"I guess this moment had to happen sometime." Shin thought bitterly as he desperately tried to keep his nerves under control. Natsumi opened the door and together they walked into the restaurant.

"Welcome, welcome take a seat." A young woman near the front of the restaurant said.

"Thank you." Natsumi said, Shin's voice seemed to have temporarily failed him.

Natsumi made her way to the other side of the restaurant, Shin dragged behind her, his mouth had gotten very dry since he entered the restaurant and his stomach was doing nervous summersaults.

"Natsumi!" Uchiyama said happily, she grinned back at him, then his mouth dropped opened in shock as he noticed the male figure behind her, the other boys had turned and had similar looks of astonishment on their faces.

"SHIN!"

"ARE YOU FOR REAL?"

"I DON'T BELIEVE IT!"

Shin shifted his weight nervously as he watched his friend's reactions to his presence. He was only spared a minute or two of relief before he was engulfed by several bodies at once. Natsumi stood back and smiled at the reunion.

After everyone had had a chance to knock Shin around a little bit and Kuma had walked out from behind the counter nearly dropping a tray, the group settled back down at their table now joined by Shin and Natsumi.

"So, how long have you been back?" Noda asked Shin after they had all ordered their food, Shin shrugged.

"Uh, a little while." He replied not wanting to hurt his friends feeling by not letting them know the minute he got back home.

"I see, so we are the last one's to know that you're back?" Uchi said smirking at Shin who shook his head.

"No, actually very few people know that I'm home, Natsumi only found out because she surprised me at my apartment." Shin replied taking a staggering breath. Every eye at the table was on Shin.

"I might as well get this over with." Shin thought as the unsaid question of _why _hung over all their heads.

"Look, let's just say that some things happened in Africa, I don't want to go into detail, but the best thing for me was to come home." Shin said, carefully choosing his words.

"You're not in any trouble are you?" Kuma asked seriously, Shin shook his head.

"No, it's nothing like that." He muttered looking down at the table. There was a very awkward silence where everyone was trying to think of something to say, finally Minami spoke.

"You can trust us Shin. If something's wrong, you can tell us." Minami said with a slight grin, Shin nodded, then sighed and shifted in his chair.

Natsumi looked at Shin trying to read him and see if he was going to open up to his friends as he had done with her.

"I know." Was all Shin could manage to say as his mouth had gone dry again.

"Well, what can you expect, Shin will always be Shin." A voice said from behind them, they all turned to see the face of Kurosaki who wore a slight grin and was starting at Shin.

"Hey Kuro." Uchi said, Kuro acknowledged him with a hand then sat down.

"I was just going to grab something to eat before I had to go back to work; I guess it's a coincidence that I chose to come here." Kuro said smirking at Shin, who gave him a small grin in return.

The rest of the afternoon passed rather nicely Shin thought. Nobody had pushed Shin to tell them why he had suddenly came back home even though they were all extremely curious and had the sense that something was wrong.

Once the group had finished eating and had paid, they all slowly made their way outside.

"Come back soon, I'll give you a meal on the house." Kuma said, Shin smirked.

"Sure." Shin replied then walked out the door.

After Shin had promised all his friends that he would keep in touch and that they would get together soon they all took off on their separate ways.

"Hey Shin, you up for a walk?" Kuro asked, Shin looked at Natsumi, who gave him a reassuring smile.

"Go ahead, I have a key and I need to do my homework anyways." Natsumi said smiling then went off walking in the opposite direction back towards Shin's apartment while Shin and Kuro continued walking up the street.

"So, are you going to spill or what?" Kuro asked bluntly. He was worried about his friend and he wasn't afraid to hide it. In high school they had wasted too much time being mad at each other and he was determined to find out what was up with Shin.

Shin looked up at Kuro, the knot in his stomach returned at his question.

"I…I already told you, some bad stuff happened it's not that big of a deal, it's just not something I like to talk about alright?" Shin said sounding more harsh then he had meant to, Kuro however was not surprised by Shin's tone, in fact he kind of expected it. It was what Shin did when something was bothering him; deny and avoid the situation.

"Shin, we're not all idiots you know, it's obvious that's something's wrong? What happened in Africa?" Kuro asked, they had stopped walking and Kuro was staring Shin straight in the eyes with a serious expression. Suddenly, Shin put a hand on his stomach as he felt it spasm, he desperately hoped that Kuro didn't notice his face expression harden as he tried to keep himself from wincing in pain.

"I'm fine Kuro, it's nothing important. I have to go, I have some things to do, and I'll keep in touch." Shin muttered and turned around to leave, he felt bad about blowing Kuro off, he knew he was just concerned about him but concern and sympathy was the main reason he was keeping his illness a secret from everyone.

"Shin wait!" Kuro cried out, but he knew it was useless, Shin wasn't going to talk. He had the impression that Natsumi knew what was wrong with Shin, but that was to be expected, after all she was his sister. Kuro sighed then pulled out his phone, he only knew one person who could always get to Shin, who could help Shin be honest with his feelings and open up. He called information and got the number for Shiroken High School.

"Hello? Yes, I'd like to speak with Yamaguchi sensei." Kuro said politely over the phone.

_**Once again, I apologize for not updating as frequently as I would like, and I'm sorry that the chapter isn't that long. I hope you are enjoying this story and continue reading. I have an idea of how I want to end the story, so it will probably be maybe three or four more chapters, because I don't want to drag the story out. **_

_**Thank you to all who have kept reading the story and reviewed, I really appreciate it. I promise to update as soon as I can.**_

_**Thanks,**_

_**Fantasyforever1989**_


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I do not own Gokusen or any of the other characters. All rights go to the creators.

Kumiko Yamaguchi sighed as she sat down on her desk in the teachers' lounge at Shiroken High. It had been a long day with her class. Even though her class wasn't nearly as bad as her first class she had ever taught at Shiroken, her students were still a handful. She folded her arms on her desk, but before she was able to put her head into her arms, she felt a light tap on her shoulder and turned around to see Ms. Fujiyama.

"Yamaguchi sensei you have a phone call." Ms. Fujiyama said brightly, holding out the phone to her. Kumiko smiled and gave Ms.Fujiyama a slight nod before taking the phone.

"Hello, this is Yamaguchi sensei." Yankumi said, not sure who would be calling her during the day at school.

"Yankumi? I don't know if you remember me, this is Kurosaki." Kuro said clearing his throat a little, Yankumi's eyes widened slightly at the name. She remembered Kurosaki, but she hadn't heard from him in over a year.

"Of course I remember you Kurosaki, is everything alright?" She asked, pretty sure she already knew the answer. She heard Kuro sigh on the other end of the line and waited patiently for him to answer; she could have sworn she heard him say something that sounded like "he's going to kill me for doing this."

"I'm fine, I'm calling you because…one of my friends needs help and you're the only one that can help him." Kuro replied.

He felt like he was doing the right thing, but at the same time he felt he was betraying Shin's trust, even though he knew that Shin needed Yankumi's help.

"What's wrong with your friend?" Yankumi asked, now very interested. Kuro let out another sigh.

"Well, that's kind of the problem, I don't know what's wrong with him, but I know it has to be pretty big because he's keeping whatever it is to himself. Please Yankumi; you're the only one that was always able to get through to him. He's probably going to hate me for calling you but I do feel it was the right thing to do." Kuro said, hoping that Yankumi was starting to figure out who he was talking about.

Yankumi furrowed her eyebrows in confusion, what did he mean by "always the only one?"

"What do you mean _were always_, have I met you're friend before?" Yankumi asked casually. Kuro paused and closed his eyes for a second before answering.

"Yes, he was a student of yours a few years back, Yankumi…it's Shin." Kuro said as he let out a deep breath. This time she couldn't hide the surprise in her voice.

"Sawada? But…I thought he was in Africa doing volunteer work." Yankumi gasped, still in a slight state of shock. She tried to remember the last time she had spoken with Shin Sawada and figured it had to have been at least eight or nine months.

"He was, but something happened and now he's home for good, at least that's what he says. It sounds like he has been home for a little while but was trying to keep himself hidden. I have a feeling Natsumi knows what's going on, but she's not going to say anything anytime soon." Kuro said, telling Yankumi everything he knew. Yankumi got one of her determined expressions and nodded, mentally accepting the new challenge in front of her.

"Do you know where he is now?" She asked Kuro.

"Yea, it sounds like he's back in his old apartment, he'll probably be back there in about twenty minutes or so. He also said that he's working at some labor company that a friend from Africa helped him set up, but I don't know when his hours are; today is his day off though." Kuro replied, Yankumi nodded and replied.

"I'll take care of it Kurosaki. I promised my students that I'd always be there for them and I don't plan on breaking that promise. I'll be at his apartment in about an hour." Yankumi said she didn't want to bombard Shin the minute he got back home, knowing that, that wouldn't get her anywhere. Kuro couldn't help but smirk, she hadn't changed a bit, Yankumi was still the same old Yankumi.

"Thanks." Kuro said slowly, Yankumi nodded again.

"Like I said, I'll always be here for my precious students." Yankumi repeated.

"Yea, well…bye." Kuro said, not really sure what else to say.

All he could hope for was that Yankumi could help Shin like she always had and that Shin wouldn't be too mad at him when he found out that he was the one that had called Yankumi. He knew that Shin finding out it was him would be pretty much unavoidable, and if Yankumi didn't tell Shin it was him, he would figure it out on his own.

Yankumi hung up the phone and began getting her things together to get ready to leave.

Once she had made her way out the door, she flipped open her phone and called home.

"Tetsu? I'm going to be home later today, don't worry about me." Yankumi said quickly.

Tetsu wanted to know what his beloved Ojou was doing, but knew better than to ask.

"Hai!" Tetsu replied before hanging up. Yankumi took a staggering breath and made her way to the nearest market and bought two instant meal dinners. She couldn't just show up at Shin's apartment for no reason, she was going to be unannounced as is.

As she walked down the street, she tried to formulate in her mind exactly what she was going to say to Shin to get him to open up to her. Shin Sawada had always been a bit of a mystery to her, but he had quickly become very important to her. All of her students were precious to her, but Shin Sawada held a special place in her heart, it wasn't like she was attracted to him, but she trusted him, and felt that he felt the same way towards her.

Yankumi looked down at her watch and figured that Shin had been home for a while; it was time to put a plan in action. Taking a deep breath, she made her way to the front of Shin's apartment. Before she walked into the building she bent her knees slightly and held out her right hand.

"Fight o, oh!" She said out loud, then continued walking into the apartment building.

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Natsumi was working on her essay when she heard the key click in the lock and looked up to see Shin walking into the apartment. She knew immediately that he was upset. Shin went over to his bed and laid down on it with a heavy sigh. He closed his eyes and tried to block out everything that Kuro had said, even though part of him knew he should confide in his friends, the other part of him was still terrified of how they would react.

"You want to talk about it?" Natsumi asked, putting her essay aside for the moment.

"No." Shin replied honestly, and grimaced in pain slightly as his stomach spasmed again, he knew he should probably get up and get his medication, but he honestly felt too comfortable at the moment. It was then that he remembered that he had left his medication on the small table by his bed. He slowly sat up and reached forward and grabbed the pill bottle, but groaned when he realized he didn't have any water with him. He was about to stand up when Natsumi stopped him.

"I'll get it, hang on a second." Natsumi said before rushing over to the bathroom and filled the empty glass in the medicine cabinet with water before coming back into the room and handed the glass to her brother.

"Thanks." Shin muttered before popping three pills into his mouth.

"You know Natsumi, I'm not helpless. I could have gotten the water myself." Shin said annoyed. The last thing he wanted was people feeling like they needed to take care of him, Natsumi rolled her eyes.

"I know Shin; I was just trying to be nice geez." Natsumi said with a slight smirk, which made Shin grin slightly

"Do they taste bad?" Natsumi asked Shin after a minute of silence, referring to the pill bottle on the table, who stared at his sister for another minute before responding.

"I guess they could be worse, I'm pretty much used to the taste by now." Shin replied his voice mixed with a bitter sarcasm, Natsumi nodded slowly.

There was an awkward silence between the two siblings, then with a heavy sigh Natsumi turned back to her essay while Shin lied back down on his bed resting his eyes. However, he had only closed his eyes for a few minutes when they shot open to a knocking sound at his door. He looked over at Natsumi who shrugged. Shin groaned and slowly sat up before a voice made him stop cold in his footsteps.

"It's me!" the voice of Kumiko Yamaguchi said from the other side of the door. Shin once again glanced over at Natsumi, who gave him an "I didn't tell her" look. However, Shin did not move from where he stood by his bed, he wasn't sure if he could face what was on the other side of that door. Natsumi sighed and stood up from where she was sitting on the floor and went to open the door. Shin glanced up at his former homeroom teacher and tried to keep himself calm just as he had earlier that day when he met up with his friends.

Yankumi looked over at Shin and then held up the plastic bag in her hand.

"I brought you some instant dinners." She said grinning.

"I…uh just ate not too long ago." Shin stuttered stupidly, trying to swallow the nervous lump in his throat. Natsumi watched her brother carefully, she could tell that he was nervous, and even though she wasn't the one who had called Yankumi, she was glad that she was there.

"Well, that's not a problem; you can just save them for later." Yankumi said brightly, giving Shin her girly-goofy grin. Shin rolled his eyes and slowly walked over to Yankumi and took the bag from her, being careful not to make eye contact with her. He knew that if he looked into her eyes he would be forced to spill all his emotions to her whether he wanted to or not, it was just the effect Yankumi had on him.

As he put the dinners away in the refrigerator, Yankumi studied Shin, taking notice of how he had changed in the past three years. He was definitely more muscular than he

had been in high school, and he was taller. Yet, what caught her attention about his appearance was that he seemed to have lost a lot of weight and there were dark circles under his eyes. He looked exhausted, as if he hadn't slept in weeks which gave him a worn appearance, making him look older than he actually was.

Shin turned away from the refrigerator but didn't say anything. His mind was racing a thousand miles an hour, and he was too confused and shocked to say anything at the moment. Just like she had earlier that day, Natsumi spoke up, breaking the strained silence, however it wasn't the rescue Shin was hoping for.

"I…um should get going anyways, my parents are expecting me home soon." Natsumi said slowly. She wanted Shin to open up to Yankumi, but she kind of felt like Shin should do this alone regardless of how much she wanted to be here to help him. She had helped him out earlier because she cared about him, but if Shin wasn't forced to face his illness by himself, it would take him even longer to come to terms with it, and learn to accept it. Natsumi knew that if anyone could get Shin to accept his illness, it would be Yankumi.

"Oh, I'm sorry; I didn't mean to intrude on anything." Yankumi said, feeling slightly guilty. Natsumi shook her head.

"No, really it's okay, this will be good for Shin, and I've spent the past couple of hours with him, I'm sure you two have a lot to catch up on anyways." Natsumi said with a smile, Shin looked over at his sister with a nervous look in his eyes; Natsumi shook her head reading her brother's expression.

"You'll be fine." Natsumi said quietly and offered Shin a reassuring smile. She leaned down and began throwing her books and her essay back into her bag.

"I'll talk to you later." Natsumi said to Shin, who nodded slowly, he wasn't sure yet if his vocal cords had decided to act normal again.

"It was nice seeing you again Natsumi, but you really don't have to leave." Yankumi said, she didn't want Shin to feel uncomfortable, but then realized whether Natsumi was there or not, it was going to be a slightly uncomfortable situation anyways.

"I have to; it was nice seeing you again too." Natsumi said brightly before walking out the door and closing it quietly.

"It's good to see you too Sawada, wow you've definitely have gained some muscle from all that volunteer work." Yankumi said jokingly, offering Shin another of her goofy grins. Shin sighed, then sunk onto the side of his bed, his legs dangling over the edge.

"So what's the real reason why you're here?" Shin asked quietly, keeping his gaze on the floor, even though he had a pretty good idea as to why she had suddenly shown up on his doorstep. Yankumi walked over to the bed and sat down at the foot of the bed.

"Well, I heard that you were back and thought I would come to see you." Yankumi replied as she continued to study her former student, Shin rolled his eyes, "

"Does she think I'm stupid or something?" Shin thought irritably.

"In other words, Kuro told you that I was back." Shin said his tone colder then he meant it to be. Yankumi nodded slowly, knowing that Shin was more than likely going to figure it out on his own.

"He cares a lot about you, and he's worried about you. It looks to me like there are a lot of people who are worried about you." Yankumi said, Shin didn't respond, but kept studying the floor. After a few painful minutes of silence, Shin couldn't take the strained silence anymore that lingered between the two.

"Look, I know that everyone keeps saying that I need to accept other people's help and that it's okay to show my weakness, but I'm managing on my own. I can handle this on my own." Shin said in a fairly monotone voice, his eyes still not leaving the spot on the floor that he had been staring at for the past several minutes.

"Do you truly believe that?" Yankumi asked being patient. She wasn't going to push Shin for answers, that was the exact reason no one else had been able to break down Shin's barrier, they had pushed too hard, Natsumi being the exception. Natsumi could easily read Shin by his face expressions and tell when something was bothering him, whereas most people usually have a hard time figuring out what Shin was thinking, due to his stone-like exterior. But after years of watching Shin, Natsumi had learned how to see right through her brother's lifeless exterior.

Shin nodded slowly in response to Yankumi's question, the nervous lump in his throat returning. Yankumi shifted her weight on the bed, then took a deep breath and turned to face Shin speaking in calm, but stern tone.

"I guess even after all this time, some things still haven't changed. You still always burden yourself with everything and are afraid of allowing yourself to lean on other people when things become too much to handle on your own. You're still afraid of letting the people around you who care about you down. I wonder what it will take for you to finally understand that allowing people to help you doesn't make you a weak person; it makes you a stronger person. When someone asks for help, even though it may not always be easy, it shows that they have strength and courage to stand up and face the obstacles in their lives that cause them pain." Yankumi finished her lecture, she was on

her feet now and was staring straight at Shin who still refused to look up at her, but as she neared the end of her speech, Shin slowly brought his head up and looked up at Yankumi. He swallowed past the lump in his throat; he hadn't realized that his mouth had gone dry.

"I…didn't ask for your help." Shin said just above a whisper without emotion staring back on Yankumi.

"You know, sometimes when people want help the most is the time when they're the most afraid to ask for it." Yankumi said. Shin could feel the walls that he had put up very slowly dissolving away, he looked up at Yankumi again, she could see the fear and anxiety in his eyes.

"Sawada, don't take on all this pain by yourself." Yankumi said in a much gentler tone then before, Shin however glared at her as she said this, no one could understand the pain he felt every day, nobody.

"Don't act like you understand what's going on with me, because you can't. Even if I did tell you everything, you couldn't understand." Shin said coldly, Yankumi however did not seem fazed at all by Shin's sudden burst of anger.

"You're right Sawada, maybe I won't understand, but you have to give people a chance. Don't shut them out before you've seen what they have to offer. Sometimes people can surprise you." Yankumi said with a small smile and waited patiently for Shin to reply, who after another awkward silence, took a staggering breath and nodded slowly.

Shin stood up and walked over to the window and leaned against the wall. He looked down and continued to study the semi-busy streets below. He exhaled deeply; trying to get rid of his emotions which he was afraid was going to explode from him at any moment. Somewhere deep inside of him, Shin knew that everything Yankumi, Natsumi, Kuro and Kaori had been trying to get through to him was true, but his pride wouldn't let him accept it.

"I didn't ask for this." Shin said quietly, still watching the bustle of people crowding the streets.

"Ask for what?" Yankumi replied.

Shin put a hand up against the window and leaned against it, closing his eyes momentarily, before opening them and taking yet another deep breath before responding to Yankumi's question.

"Everything that happened in Africa, it just happened before I could do anything about it." Shin replied still leaning against the window, using his arm as support. He wasn't

sure if he was making any sense to her, but he wasn't sure how else to begin to explain things to her.

"Well of course you didn't, nobody ever asks for bad things to happen, they just unfortunately do." Yankumi said laughing a little bit, Shin however just nodded. He was still debating whether or not he was going to tell Yankumi everything, but after another glance into her eyes, he felt the last pieces of his exterior wall completely disappear.

"I'm sick, and there's nothing anyone can do about it is that what you want to hear?" Shin said bitterly, unable to keep the anger out of his voice. He silently cursed himself for showing Yankumi so much emotion, even though she was the one that had encouraged and taught him how to express his feelings openly.

Yankumi looked at him a little surprised. Out of all the things that she had been imagining in her head of what Shin Sawada had gotten himself into it, she definitely did not expect that answer to come out of him.

"Sick with what?" She questioned slowly. Shin took another deep breath and turned his attention back to the window, letting his hair fall into his eyes.

"With a bacteria that is basically eating away at my stomach, this kind of bacteria is airborne and it was being spread around a site that I was working at in Africa. The doctor there that was treating me told me I should have surgery that wasn't even fully guaranteed to get rid of the bacteria, but that it was my best chance."

Shin paused and took a few deep gulps of air, he hadn't realized that part of his body was shaking slightly due to his heighten nerves. He shook his head a little to make sure his hair was covering his face.

Shin was so lost in his own thoughts that he hadn't noticed that Yankumi had gotten up from where she was sitting on his bed and walked over to the window and was standing right behind him. Shin slowly turned around from where he was standing and faced her, biting the inside of his lip.

"It's true Sawada that I don't know exactly how you feel. I can't imagine feeling sick every day, but I do know what it feels like to feel like you are at the end of your rope. But, what always got me through those times was my family mainly. I knew that I could count on them whenever I needed them, that's how a family works, it's the same with friends." Yankumi said gently and offered Shin a small smile, who in response looked away from her and dug his hands into his pockets.

"You can probably guess the end of the story." Shin said, still being careful to avert his gaze away from her. Yankumi nodded, it was true that she assumed by Shin's reaction that he had refused to have the surgery and came back to Japan as a result.

"I'm guessing that you didn't have the surgery?" Yankumi asked just to make sure she wasn't making any false assumptions, Shin nodded his head in agreement.

Feeling slightly calmer than before, Shin walked back over to his bed and laid back down on it.

Yankumi followed him as she sat on the floor facing the bed and continued to watch Shin closely.

"Do you regret it?" Yankumi asked a minute later. Shin sat up and looked over at her confused.

"Regret what?" He asked a little unsure of himself.

"Not having the surgery. Do you think you made the right choice in refusing to have it done?" Yankumi asked gently. Shin looked at her, his eyes burning with anxiety. It was the same question he couldn't help but ask himself occasionally.

"I don't know." Shin said honestly taking yet another staggering breath. Yankumi couldn't help but feel sympathy for the young man in front of her. It always broke her heart to see her students hurting. Shin was still so young; it wasn't fair that he had to suffer like this.

"When the doctor back in Africa first told me about the surgery, I decided rather quickly that I didn't want to have the surgery for a lot of different reasons. But….even before I left Africa, somewhere in the back of my mind I guess…a part of me wondered what would have happened if…well…if I had said yes." Shin stuttered. This was a truth that he had been denying himself ever since he had declined having surgery. Suddenly, Shin found himself laughing. Yankumi was still saving him; she had succeeded as usual in making Shin open up to someone. She was still the one that he could always talk to freely.

"Once again, Yankumi comes to the rescue." Shin said smirking, which made Yankumi laugh also.

"What can I say; you guys always did like to cause me trouble." Yankumi replied to Shin's comment.

"Yea, I guess we did." Shin said offering her a small grin.

"You know Sawada; it's never too late to finish something that you've started. You can always go back and finish what you left." Yankumi said.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Shin asked the edginess in his voice creeping back in slightly.

"I mean, I understand that you don't want to go back to Africa, no one can blame you for that, but there are really good doctors in Japan." Yankumi said, hoping that Shin wouldn't get angry at her suggestion.

"No." Shin replied coldly, that was a possibility he wasn't even ready to think about.

"Just think about it, don't give up just yet." Yankumi said then stood up.

"Well, it is getting kind of late, I should get home soon." Yankumi said grabbing her purse. Shin stared at her then nodded.

"Yea." He said.

"Don't think you can get rid of me that easily Sawada, I made a promise that I would never abandon a student of mine." Yankumi replied grinning a little, Shin nodded.

"Yankumi…" He began.

"Hmm?"

"It was good to see you too."

_**I feel SO horrible! I looked at the date at the last time I updated and it was months ago! I truly am very sorry for that, but I PROMISE Why is This Happening to Me? will be completed. Things were really crazy with school and I had some family things happen. **_

_**Well, I hope that I haven't lost too many readers, and I hoped that you enjoyed this chapter. It took me a long time to write this chapter because I kept not liking the interaction between Yankumi and Shin. I really tried to keep both of them in character, and I know I've said this a thousand times before, but just so there is no confusion, this will NOT be a Shinkumi fic. Once again, I'm really really sorry for not updating in forever, but trust me when I say, I do have an ending for this story and it will be completed. Hopefully, it won't be too long before I update, so please don't give up on this story just yet, there's more to come soon!**_

_**As always, reviews are greatly appreciated, and again I apologize for not updating in such a long time.**_

_**Thanks,**_

_**Fantasyforever1989**_


	9. slight technical note

**I just wanted to also apologize that the spacing in chapter 8 for some reason got messed up when I uploaded it. I apologize if it made it hard to read, I don't know why changed it once I uploaded it, I've never had a problem before with it. Anyways, I hope to update sometime soon, thanks again to everyone who has kept reading this story, it really means a lot to me.**

**Thanks,**

**-Fantasyforver1989**


	10. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I do not own Gokusen or any of the characters; all rights go to the creators of the show.

Sunlight streamed the window, casting an early morning glow into Shin's apartment. He was awake, but he didn't check the time to see if he was running late, or get up like he knew he should. Instead, he slowly rolled over and shut his eyes and waited until he could muster enough to energy to get himself out of bed and into the shower. At the moment, keeping his eyes open felt like work.

Shin had had another episode last night, and the effects had not worn off. His entire body ached, making him feel like he was a hundred years old, instead of twenty-one, not to mention that all energy had been drained from his body, making the littlest of movements feel like effort.

_Come on Shin, get out of bed, you're going to be late for work. _Shin mentally scolded himself. He knew he could call in sick, but he refused to let this illness take over his life, he wasn't going to be that weak, even if that meant trudging through a day of work in discomfort.

Finally, with a slight groan, Shin forced himself to sit up and stumble out of bed into the bathroom. He wrapped a towel around his waist and turned on the shower. While he waited for the water to get hot, he grabbed his medication from the cabinet and swallowed three of the small pills before jumping into the shower. The hot water felt nice on his skin, and he hoped that it would help wake him up and get him through the day.

When he was dressed and about to leave his apartment, Shin glanced at the clock on his nightstand.

"Shit" He muttered, he had to be at work in ten minutes, and it took at least fifteen minutes to get there, and another minute or two to stow his belongings in a locker, slip on his blue vest, and get out to the site.

Shin hastily grabbed his things as fast as possible, locked his door and made a mad dash down the stairs and into the cool morning air.

"You're late Sawada." Renjiro exclaimed as Shin rushed out of the locker room and onto the work site.

"I'm very sorry, it won't happen again." Shin replied to his boss with a slight bow, Renjiro nodded.

"Don't make it a habit, you're on the north side today with Yoshikawa, get to it." Renjiro instructed.

"Hai." Shin replied before heading to the north side of the site where he found Kaori who looked up at him when he saw Shin running toward him.

"Decided to grace us with your presence ne?" Kaori said with a smirk, Shin somehow managed to offer Kaori a small smile in return.

"Gomen ne." Shin muttered in a response before grabbing a shovel and began filling the large ditch in front of them with gravel.

"Well with the way you sleep it's a miracle you're not late every day." Kaori said offering Shin a small grin.

"Shut up." Shin said with a small laugh.

They had been working for a little over an hour when Kaori noticed that Shin was working slower than usual. He'd also been looking paler the past couple days, but today especially.

"Ne, Shin you feeling okay?" Kaori asked, sticking his shovel into the ground and propping an arm against it to support himself.

"Of course, why?" Shin muttered flatly in response. He had been trying his best to act like nothing was wrong, but sometimes he would accidentally move the wrong way and couldn't suppress a wince of pain. He had hoped Kaori hadn't noticed this, but apparently he had.

"You just seem off today, more tired than usual." Kaori said. Shin let out a heavy sigh and stopped working for a second and glanced over at Kaori, he could tell that he wasn't just going to let the subject go this time.

"I just had a long night last night, no big deal." Shin muttered, picking up his shovel and resuming work, Kaori continued to study him. He knew what Shin was doing, avoiding the situation as usual and acting like nothing was wrong; classic Shin Sawada. Only problem was, Kaori was starting to get to know Shin well enough where he could read between the lines.

"You mean you had an episode last night?" Kaori said, already knowing the answer, Shin's appearance gave that much away.

"So what if I did." Shin said with a shrug, trying to brush the matter off as nothing.

"So, why didn't you just call off today and rest like you need to?" Kaori asked.

"I'm not having an episode right now, there's no reason why I can't work." Shin said still acting as if was no big deal, Kaori let out a sigh.

"Look Shin, I know you are tired of me saying this and I get that you don't want to suck up your pride and take off work, but you have to start taking care of yourself." Kaori said, picking up his shovel finally and getting back to work. Shin closed his eyes for a second before turning to Kaori.

"I don't need a damn lecture and yea, I'm tired of you always trying to preach to me. I think I know my body and what I can handle a lot better than you do. So, for the _last_ time, thanks for your help, but I've got it under control." Shin said coldly. He didn't like being so rude and cold toward his friend, but he really wasn't in the mood for a lecture, Kaori seemed to pick up on this because he didn't say anything else on the matter for the rest of the morning.

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"Aren't you hungry Shin?" Uchi asked as he looked up from his plate and noticed that Shin had barely touched his food. Ever since they had been reunited, it had become somewhat of a tradition for Shin, Uchi, and Kuro to meet at Kuma's restaurant once a week for lunch. Sometimes Noda or Minami or someone else from the gang would also meet them there. Shin had to admit that he really looked forward to these meetings. He couldn't help but smile and laugh when he was around his friends, and it made a part of him feel at times like he was back in high school.

No one prodded him anymore as to why he came back to Japan, though the occasional worried and curious side glances that Kuro gave him, didn't go by unnoticed. As if on cue, Kuro looked over at Shin's plate at Uchi's comment; it was true, he hadn't eaten much. Shin's plate was practically untouched. Instead of eating, Shin had one arm propped up on the table from his elbow holding his head up as he leaned against it, and the other was pushing the rice on his plate from one side to the other with a pair of chopsticks. However, at Uchi's question, Shin looked up and shook his head.

"Nah, I ate a lot earlier that's all." Shin replied, even though it was a lie.

The thought alone of shoving food down his throat and letting his stomach digest it was enough to make him feel like puking on the spot. All he wanted to do at the moment was curl up and go back to sleep but he knew that was impossible.

"Hey Shin, are you okay? You look kinda pale." Kuma observed as he came around the counter to clear their dirty plates and glasses. Shin gritted his teeth; it was the second time in one day that he had been asked that damned, single most annoying question in the world. He felt the same boiling anger in his chest being tempted to rise up and explode at it, but he fought against it. Some part of his brain was able to reason and understand that he wasn't truly mad at his friends.

"Shin?" Uchi asked a little concerned as he noticed Shin grit his teeth, then slowly relax his jaw a minute later.

Shin merely let out a heavy sigh and shook his head, not looking either of his friends in the eyes.

"Bakas, nothing's wrong, I'm fine. I don't know where you guys are coming up with this." Shin replied, his voice cold and distant. It was Kuro's turn to sigh.

"Do you really expect us to believe that?" Kuro asked flatly, not looking directly at Shin.

Shin closed his eyes for a second again and took slow and steady breaths to keep himself calm. He really was not in the mood for a confrontation.

"Why wouldn't you?" Shin spat out coldly, letting his anger and exhaustion get the better of him.

"Don't fight guys. Kuro's just saying that he's worried about you Shin." Kuma said, intervening quickly noticing how upset Shin was suddenly.

"I don't need your sympathy." Shin muttered reaching into his pocket and grabbing his wallet. He tossed a few bills onto the table, grabbed his jacket and turned to leave the restaurant as quickly as possible. Kuma, Kuro, and Uchi looked at each other for a second then rushed out of the restaurant to follow him.

"SHIN wait!" Uchi called out as the three of them rushed down the street to catch up with Shin. However, Shin did not lessen his pace at the sound of his friend's voice; he needed to calm himself down first.

"How long do you plan to ignore whatever the hell is going on with you? It's not going to get any better if you keep running away from it!" Kuro shouted raising his voice still running to catch up with Shin. Suddenly, Shin stopped running and clutched his stomach, running was the last thing he should be doing right now. He cursed under his breath as his feet came to a stop; one hand clutched his stomach the other he leaned against the wall for support.

"Thank God, I don't think I could have run anymore." Kuma panted resting his hands on his knees before him, Kuro, and Uchi walked in front of Shin to face him directly. Shin did not look up at any of them but turned his head slightly away from them, he hoped that none of them would pick up on the pain he was in at the moment.

"So, don't you think it's about time you just tell us what's going on?" Uchi said staring at Shin.

"Or what? You'll call Yankumi too? Last time I checked we're not all in high school anymore." Shin replied coldly with no emotion, still not looking at any of them, Kuro rolled his eyes.

"Well stop acting like you're in high school then. What else was I supposed to do Shin? You wouldn't talk to any of us and Yankumi is the only other person I know of that can deal with your stubbornness." Kuro answered, he didn't like pulling the anger card, but at this point he didn't know what it was going to take to get through to Shin.

"Shin, high school or not, Yankumi will always be there for us no matter what, you know that. She'll chase after us and try to help us today just as much as she would when she was our homeroom teacher." Kuma said a little more gently.

"This has nothing to do with Yankumi." Shin snapped.

Before he could say anything else though; his stomach churned painfully causing a series of painful spasms throughout his abdomen. Shin clenched his jaw and tightened his grip on the wall, his eyes screwed shut trying to block out the pain. Kuma grabbed Shin's shoulder and gently brought him to a sitting position as he looked as if he was about to pass out.

"Shin, can you hear me?" Kuro asked, grabbing Shin's shoulder.

"Stop shaking me…I'm not unconscious." Shin managed to gasp out loud through the pain. The shaking had only caused him to feel even sicker then he already did and it took all of his will power to not vomit right there on the pavement.

"Should I call an ambulance?" Kuma asked, not knowing how serious the situation was.

"No! I don't…need a hospital." Shin protested as he grimaced in pain again. The last place he wanted to go was a hospital. Kuro put his head down for a second then looked up at Kuma and Uchi.

"You're acting like a stubborn child." Kuro said angrily at Shin's defiance.

"Fine, we'll take you back to your apartment, but we're not leaving you alone, whether you like it or not." Uchi said definitely after a minute, then carefully helped Shin to his feet.

"I'll meet you there, I just have to let Ami know that I'm leaving for a little bit." Kuma said before quickly running back to his restaurant, Kuro and Uchi nodded.

Somehow Shin managed to keep himself from vomiting the whole taxi ride back to his apartment but the minute he slammed his door shut, he rushed to the bathroom and doubled over the toilet. Uchi and Kuro exchanged worried glances, but decided to close the door and give Shin some privacy.

"Do you think it's just the flu or something'?" Uchi asked as they sat on Shin's bed, Kuro shook his head.

"No, I don't. I have a feeling this is what he's been hiding from us this whole time." Kuro replied sighing, he had no idea how to help his friend, but Shin needed him.

Shin's breath came in harsh, raspy gasps as he sat on his knees bent over the toilet bowl. It surprised him how much he was able to vomit considering there wasn't much in his stomach. Yet, he was afraid to move from his current position, as he continued to choke back bile. Once he had let out a few dry heaves, he let the exhaustion that he had been trying to ignore all day take over him and slumped sideways against the bathtub. The cold tile felt good against his skin and he didn't think he could move even if he wanted to. His head was pounding and the things around him seem to swim in and out of focus.

"This doesn't make sense." Shin thought numbly. He had never had two episodes in a 24 hour period. The closest time he could remember was having an episode a few weeks apart. He wasn't sure if he had passed out or not, but the next thing he was aware of was a warm hand pressing against his forehead.

"Shin! Shin can you hear me? Wake up!" A voice said loudly into his ear. Uchi and Kuro were knelt down on the bathroom floor over Shin. They had given him his privacy in the beginning, but when Shin hadn't come out of the bathroom after a while, Kuro had knocked lightly on the bathroom door before pushing it open to find Shin semi-conscious leaning against the bathtub covered in sweat.

"Wha….." Shin mumbled, his senses not really coming back to him. The world seemed to be a dizzy blur like his head, but he was vaguely aware of a voice that sounded like it was saying his name.

"He's burning up." Uchi observed as he pulled his hand away from Shin's forehead.

"Come on, let's get him out of the bathroom at least, it reeks of vomit in here." Kuro said. Him and Uchi each grabbed an arm and gently hoisted Shin upright. He swayed on his feet, but they held him steady and guided him to his bed. Kuro then went back into the bathroom and quickly grabbed a wash cloth, soaking it with the coldest water possible that would come out of the faucet.

Shin seemed to be fading in and out of consciousness. He was aware that Kuro and Uchi were still in his apartment and would catch phrases here and there of what they were saying. Somewhere in his mind, he registered that he needed to take his medication and remembered that the bottle was still in his jacket from this morning but he had no idea where his jacket was. Painfully, Shin forced himself to open his eyes. It took a minute but suddenly Uchi swam into focus.

"Pock…et med…." Shin tried in an attempt to tell him to get his medication out of his jacket pocket. Kuro slowly helped pull Shin into an upright position against the headboard and handed him a glass of water.

Shin obeyed, taking the glass then coughed after handing the glass back to Kuro. After taking a few deep breaths he thought that his head was clear enough to speak.

"I have….medication. It's in my….jacket." Shin said quietly, his head felt clearer but his stomach was still sending painful spasms through his body making him wince.

"Medication?" Kuro asked taken aback slightly.

Uchi grabbed Shin's jacket off the ground and began fishing inside the pockets, it didn't take him long to find the orange pill container.

"This?" Uchi asked flashing the bottle in front of Shin, who nodded, then regretted the movement as the world spun again for a minute.

"How many?" Uchi asked scanning the label.

"Three…" Shin replied weakly, Uchi nodded and dumped three of the small pills into his hand before handing them and a glass of water to Shin. He had barely swallowed them, when he jumped at the sound of someone knocking at the door.

"It's Kuma." Kuma said frantically on the other side of the door, Uchi got up and let him in.

"How's he doing? Do you know what happened? Is he sick?" Kuma asked firing question after question, Shin slumped down into the bed and curled up on his side clutching his stomach, trying to block out the blinding pain.

"We don't know what's wrong with him, except that he is obviously in pain and that he is on some medication." Uchi answered. Shin wished that he was somewhere else, anywhere else right now. He had tried so hard to keep his condition a secret from everyone and now three of his closest friends were standing in his apartment and witnessing the evidence first hand. He knew there was no way he could deny it anymore to them, but at the same time he still didn't feel like explaining, especially right now.

He felt the mattress sink a little as Uchi and Kuro sat down on either side of the bed and Kuma at the foot of the bed.

"Shin, we can't help you if you don't tell us what's going on." Uchi said, Shin took a deep breath and coughed.

"It…will pass, I just have…to wait it out." Shin said weakly. Suddenly, their voices seemed farther away than before and he felt a strange fuzziness taking over him that he had never felt before. Not having the strength to fight it Shin let the haze take over him.

"Shin?" Kuma said concerned as Shin's body suddenly became still and his breathing seemed to lighten from labored gasps.

"Shin!" Kuma said again shaking the small boy's figure, he showed no response. Acting on instinct Uchi reached into his pants pocket and pulled out his cellphone.

"I'm calling for an ambulance." He said before punching in the emergency numbers into his phone.

"My friend needs an ambulance, he's sick and he just lost consciousness." Uchi said frantically when the dispatcher had picked up on the other end. Once Uchi had told the dispatcher everything he knew he looked back over at Shin. His breathing had returned to painful gasps, but he showed no signs of regaining consciousness.

"Shin, hang in there, help will be here soon." Kuro said, mentally telling himself the same thing.

_**I'm so evil leaving it like this :P but before you freak out please rest assured that I will NOT kill off Shin. Even if I wanted to I don't have the heart to kill him off.**_

_**So, I realize that I'm a horrible person and it has been forever since I last updated but as I have said before I do plan on finishing this story. I am SO SO SO VERY sorry that I don't update on a regular basis and I really appreciate anyone who has stuck with this story. I promise I do plan on finishing it, don't give up on me yet. :D**_

_**I'm still not sure how much I like this chapter it felt kind of repetitive to me so PLEASE let me know what you think good or bad, I really appreciate it.**_

_**Lastly, I'm sure there are grammar and spelling errors I try to catch most of them, but I'm sure I missed some.  
**_

_**As always, reviews are greatly appreciated. Again, I really am sorry that I haven't updated this story in so long.**_

_**-Fantasyforever 1989**_


	11. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I do not own Gokusen or any of the characters. All rights go to the creators of the show.

Nothing was making sense; things seemed to spinning in and out of focus. Yet, at the same time this strange haze Shin was in was comforting even though it made no sense at all. He wasn't sure how much time had passed but suddenly somewhere in the distance it sounded like there was a beeping noise, which was odd. The beeping sound didn't fit with this strange haze he was in.

"Hey! I think he's starting to come around!"

"Shin? Shin can you hear me?"

"Baka! Stop shouting, you want to make him go deaf!"

The voices sounded closer now, and he felt a stab of shame when he recognized the voices, what were his friends still doing in his apartment?

"Shin, can you hear me?" Uchi's voice said again, this time softer instead of practically yelling in his ear.

By this time, Shin was awake but he stayed quiet and kept his eyes shut. It just felt so good to have his eyes closed, he felt so tired and all he wanted to do was sleep. Kuro was watching Shin and let out a sigh.

"I can tell you're awake, I've seen you sleep enough to know when you're faking and when you're not." Kuro said. Shin let out a small groan before scrunching his eyes and slowly opening them.

At first he was a little shocked. He could have sworn he was still in his apartment but he quickly discovered he was nowhere near his place the second he opened his eyes. He was lying on a bed with thin white sheets and a light blue blanket pulled up to his waist in a room with plastered white walls and fluorescent lighting on the ceiling.. There was also a needle in his arm connected to an IV drip. It was a scene all too familiar to him and a scene which he dreaded. He then discovered that the annoying beeping sound was coming from a heart monitor attached to his chest.

"You're in the hospital. You passed out and we didn't know what to do so we called an ambulance. I know you said no hospitals, but we didn't know what else to do." Kuro said seeing Shin's slight confused expression.

"You've been out cold for almost two hours now." Kuma added. Shin just nodded, but didn't say a word. All he could think of at the moment was how much did they know? Luckily, he was spared the flood of questions which he knew now were bound to come by a middle aged doctor knocking lightly on the door.

"I'm glad to see you awake Sawada, my name is Dr. Mazaki." The doctor said, introducing himself. Shin nodded to acknowledge him. He hated doctors. In his experience, doctors always meant something bad; they always came with bad news.

"How are you feeling?" Dr. Mazaki asked, grabbing his chart off the end of the bed and scanning its contents.

"Okay, I guess." Shin answered shortly, Dr. Mazaki nodded, then turned his attention to Kuma, Kuro, and Uchi.

"Well, if you don't mind I'm going to have to ask you three to leave the room for a few minutes while I examine Sawada, hospital policy." Dr. Mazaki said politely, Kuro, Kuma and Uchi nodded.

"Of course." Kuma said getting up from his seat, Uchi and Kuro followed him.

"See you in a few Shin." Uchi said, Shin nodded again. He always found it easier to avoid his emotions better when he spoke less. Dr. Mazaki walked over to his bed and offered him a small smile.

"I'm just going to take your vitals." Dr. Mazaki said wrapping a blood pressure cuff around his arm, Shin again just nodded. Once Dr. Mazaki had checked his blood pressure, pulse, and temperature he pulled up a stool next to the head of the bed.

"Here it comes." Shin thought bitterly.

"Well Sawada, you're condition is stable for now. You were severely dehydrated, but we have you on fluids and antibiotics to keep you stabilized and get your temperature back down to normal. As your doctor though, I have to ask you… have you given any thought to a course of treatment for the bacterium?" Dr. Mazaki asked, starting directly at Shin, who looked up at the doctor for the first time.

"I have been treating it, meds every day." Shin replied bluntly, Dr. Mazaki nodded.

"Yes, but I meant long-term…" Dr. Mazaki began; Shin sighed and cut him off before he could finish his thought.

"If you mean surgery the answer is no. I decided a while ago that I wouldn't have surgery. This bacterium is not going to kill me, so I don't see the need to go through with it." Shin answered flatly.

"I understand how you feel Sawada, no one ever wants to have surgery, but we did some tests and the bacterium isn't going away with just medication. This explains why this episode you had was so severe, and I think I'm right to assume that your episodes have gotten more frequent as well?" Shin nodded, he couldn't deny it, what Dr. Mazaki said was true.

"So, what you're saying is that it's gotten worse?" Shin asked, Dr. Mazaki nodded slowly.

"Sometimes when you take a certain medication for a long period of time, your body creates an immunity to it." Dr. Mazaki stated.

"Immunity? So, the medication I'm taking isn't working anymore?" Shin asked though he was pretty sure he already knew the answer, the doctor nodded.

"Unfortunately, yes. Even though you are still taking the medication regularly, your body is now breaking the drug down differently, resulting with it not being effective anymore. There's also the risk of the bacteria spreading." Dr. Mazaki explained. Shin leaned back and took a deep breath before turning back to face the doctor.

"Are there any other medications I could take that would fight the bacteria?" Shin asked.

"There are a few alternative medications we could try yes, but there is no guarantee. At this point, I strongly believe that your best chance of recovery would be to have the surgery done. It's a very simple procedure…" Dr. Mazaki began explaining only to be interrupted again by Shin.

"I don't want to hear it Mazaki sensei I'm not having the surgery. Thank you for your input, but I don't consent." Shin said firmly, his voice had a bitter edge, and Dr. Mazaki could sense his anger. He sighed then nodded. He could tell that the boy's mind was already made up, it was clear on his face that he wasn't going to get anywhere near an operating room unless it was life or death.

"I understand." Dr. Mazaki repeated.

"So, now what? Can I go home?" Shin asked sitting up only to have Dr. Mazaki gently push him back against the pillow.

"Not so fast. We're still waiting on some test results and I would like to monitor you for a minimum of 24 hours to see how your body reacts to the nutrients and antibiotics, just to make sure it doesn't set off another episode." Dr. Mazaki explained, Shin was unable to suppress a moan of protest at these words. He knew it was childish to complain, but the thought of spending the night in the hospital was nowhere near pleasant.

"I feel fine now." Shin protested, even though it was somewhat of a lie. In truth, he felt better than he had earlier, but his body still seemed to ache everywhere and he still felt rather sick to his stomach. Not to mention that he had absolutely no energy at all. With years of medical training under his belt, Dr. Mazaki quickly picked up on this.

"Oh, really now? So, you're telling me that you don't feel sick or any pain at all? Wow, I wish all my patients recovered this quickly." Dr. Mazaki said with a small smirk.

"Cut the sarcasm crap, I don't need to hear it." Shin replied bitterly, he really wasn't in the mood to be made fun of.

"Alright Sawada." Dr. Mazaki said standing up.

"Think about what I said, I'll be back in a while to see how you're doing. If you need anything in the meantime don't hesitate to ask, just push the red button on the control." Dr. Mazaki said, gesturing to the hand control hanging off the side of the bed, Shin nodded to show he heard him.

"I'll let your friends know that they can come back in." The doctor said before offering Shin a small grin and leaving the room. At the mention of his friends, his stomach did a summersault that had nothing to do with bacteria. What should he say to them? How much do they already know? He was only spared a few precious minutes by himself before the door slid open and Kuma, Kuro, and Uchi sauntered back into the room.

"So, what the doc say?" Uchi asked, Shin shrugged as if it was nothing.

"Nothing really, he said that I'm stabilized for now, and a bunch of medical babble I didn't understand, no big deal." Shin replied coolly. Kuro rolled his eyes; he knew it wasn't the truth.

"Bull shit." Kuro said after a minute.

"Kuro…" Uchi began, but he shrugged him off.

"No, I'm sorry, but I'm tired of this. People don't start vomiting and pass out over nothing Shin. This is why you came back to Japan isn't it? What is it? What disease do you have?" Kuro said seriously, staring directly at Shin, who refused to look at him Instead he continued to lean back into his pillow and concentrate on his breathing.

"You don't understand." Shin said quietly after several minutes.

"Well then…help us understand." Kuma said, offering Shin a small smile, Shin just shook his head.

"Shin…aren't you tired from always running away from it? I know how much effort it takes to act strong, to put on that mask for everyone to see, it's exhausting. Isn't it about time you gave up the fake façade?" Kuro spoke softer this time, more comforting, he sensed that Shin was getting upset.

Suddenly, something snapped inside of him, everything he had been trying to suppress and ignore the past couple months seemed to come crashing down on him in less than a minute. He didn't even realize at first that he had started crying silently, it wasn't until he let out the first choked sob that he realized he was crying at all, and that's when the damn broke. He couldn't seem to stop himself, the tears kept coming on their own accord and he gave up trying to keep them quiet.

"I'm…sorry." He muttered between sobs as he tried to brush the flow of tears away, not sure what else to say.

"There's nothing to apologize for. I'm actually glad you're showing some emotion, makes you seem human still." Uchi said with a smirk and gently smacked Shin's back.

Kuma wrapped an arm around his shoulder and shook him in a friendly/comforting way.

"It's okay Shin." Kuma said. Shin merely nodded. Just as he thought he was finally gaining some control over his emotions again, he suddenly started coughing. Uchi grabbed the plastic cup on the table next to his bed and filled it up with water.

"Take it easy." He said handing Shin the cup, he sipped the cool liquid then set the cup back on the table.

"Thanks." Shin said weakly, still clearing his throat. The three of them sat in silence again, while they waited for Shin to answer, when he didn't say something, Uchi spoke up.

"So, considering we've spent over two hours sitting in these hard ass chairs, you think you could tell us what's going on?" Uchi said with a small grin on his face. Shin took a staggering breath and let it out slowly. There was no way of escaping it, and as much as he wished it wasn't true, Uchi was right.

"You're right; this is why I came back to Japan." Shin said quietly, he could see the worry etched onto his friends faces.

"Is it…serious?" Kuma asked, even though he felt it was a rather dumb question considering their current surroundings.

"It's not going to kill me if that's what you mean." Shin said bitterly.

"I…I have a bacteria in my stomach alright." Shin said louder than he had been talking before, but still not daring to look up. He didn't want to see their expressions again.

"Is…is that what that medication you took before was for?" Uchi asked, Shin nodded. He decided he would answer their questions with as little talking as possible.

"So, is this bacteria treatable?" Kuro asked, at this Shin groaned.

"Yes….well…I'm not so sure right now." Shin answered honestly, Kuro's eyes narrowed in confusion.

"What do you mean?" He asked, Shin let out a heavy sigh.

"It means, according to this doctor, the medication I've been taking isn't being effective anymore. Something about my body creating an immunity to it." Shin explained, not wanting to go into detail.

"What….what does that mean?" Kuma asked repeating Kuro's question.

"Look, I don't know exactly what's happening right now alright." Shin said, the edginess creeping back into his voice.

"Don't they have like alternative treatments now or something? Something other than medication that could treat it?" Uchi asked, Shin shook his head.

"Sort of." Shin replied frustrated.

"Sorry." Uchi muttered, seeing that Shin was starting to lose his patience again, Shin let out a heavy sigh and shook his head.

"Don't worry about it." He muttered.

"It's a mess." Shin said randomly a few minutes later. Everyone knew that he was horrible at expressing his emotions but sometimes when he did, they would pour out of him out of their own accord. He hated showing this much emotion, but he didn't have the energy to think about what he was saying, something he NEVER did. After all, everyone has a breaking point right? At least that's something Yankumi would say at a time like this Shin thought bitterly.

"Life is a mess, care to go into detail with that?" Kuro said with a smirk.

"Shut up." Shin replied, offering Kuro a smirk in return, he was starting to feel a little bit. He shifted his weight on the bed and absentmindedly scratched at his arm where the IV was.

"They want me to have surgery, but I'm not going to." Shin said his voice quiet again. They all looked at him curiously.

"But Shin, if this surgery can cure you…" Kuma started.

"No." Shin replied using the same flat tone he had with Dr. Mazaki.

"First of all, there is no one-hundred percent guarantee that the surgery will be successful and second of all, this bacterium won't kill me, so it's not like I'm going to die without it." Shin explained in the same monotone voice. He was starting to feel real tired again, crying did that to you, he hated crying, showing weakness. Regardless of how many times Yankumi had said its okay to show weakness, it was still something Shin Sawada wasn't good at.

"So, you're just giving up then?" Kuro asked his expression neutral.

"It's not like that." Shin muttered in response.

"Damn your stubbornness." Uchi said quietly, but Shin still heard him, not knowing what else to say he sunk back into the bed again and closed his eyes. Kuro studied him and could tell that he wasn't faking this time, he needed the rest.

"Get some rest we'll see you later ne?" Kuro said standing up, Shin nodded to show he acknowledged what he had said still keeping his eyes closed, maybe it was the antibiotics but he didn't think he could open his eyes even if he wanted to, and even the lumpy pillow and thin sheets felt warm and cozy all of the sudden.

Kuma, Kuro, and Uchi made their way out of the room as quiet as possible. They walked outside together, neither one of them saying a word, each lost in their own thoughts.

"He'll be okay right?" Kuma asked out loud.

"What? Of course he's going to be okay." Uchi replied quickly, and he truly believed that. The Shin Sawada he knew wouldn't be beaten by any bacteria.

_**Okay, so I don't really like this chapter and I apologize if it felt like it kind of dragged on. Also, I wanted Shin to break down and show some emotion, but I REALLY didn't want to take him out of character. So please some feedback would be greatly appreciated, good or bad. **_

_**Another note, I apologize if some of the medical things aren't accurate, I really tried to make everything as accurate as possible. I did do a little research and especially with prescription drugs it's possible to create an immunity to them.**_

_**Thanks as always for sticking with this story, and again let me reassure everyone that I will NOT kill of Shin. Also, I promise that I will bring Yankumi back into the story along with a few other characters that have sort of been neglected lately.**_

_**As always reviews are greatly appreciated. :D**_

_**Thanks as always,**_

_**Fantasyforever1989**_


	12. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I do not own Gokusen or any of the characters; all rights go to the creators of the show.

_I hate hospitals!_ Shin groaned inwardly rolling over for the thousandth time. He glanced out the small window on the side of the room, the sky was pitch black and stars littered the sky. Shin was too tired to sit up to look at the clock but he figured it had to be around 3:00 in the morning and he had managed to get only a few hours sleep. Whenever he would feel like he was about to doze off a nurse would walk in and wake him to check his vitals or change the IV that he was unfortunately still hooked up to. Not to mention hospitals were loud and busy even at night and the beds weren't that comfortable. Cursing under his breath, he closed his eyes and willed himself to fall asleep. He wasn't sure how much time had passed but he slowly felt himself falling into a light doze.

He felt like he had just fallen asleep when he woke with a start. He didn't feel right and he couldn't exactly figure out why, his mind still clouded with sleep. A few seconds later however he suddenly found himself leaning over his bedside emptying the contents of his stomach into the trash can. The sound of retching got a nurse's attention and she ran into the room a minute later.

Shin gasped, his breathing labored as he continued to vomit into the trash can. He suddenly felt lightheaded and collapsed back into his pillow, closing his eyes in hope to stop the spinning in his head. The nurse gently pulled him into a sitting positing then eased his head downwards so he was sitting with his head almost between his knees.

"Try and take deep breaths." She instructed. Shin merely nodded, his stomach churning making him feel like he was going to be sick again. He couldn't tell if this was an episode or not, he wasn't having any spasms or much pain in his stomach but he was afraid that he was going to puke again at any second. Just then Dr. Mazaki appeared by his side and checked the dosage of antibiotics while the nurse wrapped a blood pressure cuff around his arm.

"Are you feeling any pain in your stomach?" Dr. Mazaki asked, Shin shook his head, the dizziness had passed but he was left feeling extremely drained and if possible more tired than before.

"Alright that's good, all this means then is the dosage of antibiotics is too strong, I lowered the dosage so you should start feeling better soon. I'll come back in an hour to check on you. Try and get some rest in the meantime." Dr. Mazaki said, Shin just nodded again to show he heard him, then slowly leaned back and curled up on his side. Usually he slept better on his side but at this rate, it would take a miracle to help him fall asleep.

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Kaori glanced at his watch, it was five past 7:00, the schedule showed that he was supposed to be working with Shin but there was still no sign of him. Kaori sighed, that guy was going to make it a habit of being late. He went back to the truck and began unpacking a new shipment of supplies. It took him longer than usual to unload all the supplies and he felt a stab of annoyance at Shin's tardiness for forcing him to do it by himself. He glanced at his watch again, 7:30. Worry started to mix in with his annoyance. Shin had never been this late, was something wrong? Kaori dug into his pocket and pulled out his phone, he had no missed calls from Shin, surely if something was wrong Shin would have called him to tell him. By the time 8:00 rolled around Kaori knew something was wrong. He was about to go find Renjiro and ask him if he had heard from Shin when he noticed a figure in the distance making his way toward him. At first he thought it was finally Shin only an hour late to work but he realized a minute later that it was not Shin and his worry only grew.

"Kinjo-san what are you doing here isn't it your day off?"Kaori asked confused. Kinjo nodded.

"It was supposed to be but Sawada called off guess he was sick or something, I don't know the details but Renjiro called me and asked me to cover for him, that kid owes me." Kinjo muttered. Kaori nodded, his worry increasing by the second. Shin refused to call off because of his illness which meant something serious had to have happened for him to call off.

"Hey, start stocking this stuff I'll be right back." Kaori said before rushing off towards Renjiro's office. He knocked lightly on the door and waited for Renjiro to let him in.

"How can I help you Yoshikawa?" Renjiro asked politely, motioning for Kaori to sit down, Kaori nodded.

"I was just wondering if you knew why Sawada called off." Kaori asked, Renjiro nodded, he knew that Yoshikawa was close to Sawada.

"He's sick, he called this morning and said that he had to go to the hospital last night, he didn't give a lot of details but I spoke to his doctor as well, so he is not making it up." Renjiro replied calmly giving him all the information he knew.

"Wait, you spoke to his doctor, meaning he is still in the hospital?" Kaori asked, he knew something bad had happened, he just didn't know how bad until that second.

"Yes it seems that way, but you shouldn't worry his doctor assured me that he will make a full recovery. He couldn't give me any details either, patient confidentiality and all." Renjiro said leaning back in his chair slightly.

"Do you have a problem working with Kinjo-san? He was kind enough to agree to work on his day off." Renjiro asked, Kaori quickly shook his head.

"No, not at all, I was just curious about Sawada-san." Kaori said, Renjiro nodded.

"I understand, but right now there is nothing you can do for Sawada-san so I suggest you get back to work." Renjiro said firmly, Kaori nodded.

"Hai." He said before bowing slightly and leaving the room, Shin was safe at least, and Renjiro was right, right now there wasn't much he could do for Shin.

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Mazaki-sensei sat in his office with Shin's chart sprawled open on his desk. He must have read through the chart 50 times by now, trying to think of some other form of treatment, some other chance of success. But everything in front of him pointed to surgery, he rubbed his head feeling the beginnings of a headache coming on.

"Why is that kid so stubborn?" He said thinking out loud. He knew patient's rights came first and Sawada Shin was old enough and competent enough to make his own medical decisions. He was informed and understood his condition yet he was adamant on his refusal to consent to surgery. Dr. Mazaki rubbed his forehead, scrunching his eyes shut in frustration. He let out a sigh, lost in his thoughts when the sound of someone knocking on his door suddenly made him jump slightly.

"Tayama-sensei, I see that you got my message." Dr. Mazaki said, smiling at his colleague and gesturing for him to sit down, which he did.

"I did, so how can I help you?" Dr. Tayama asked, leaning back in his chair.

"I need a consult on a patient; patient is male, twenty-one years old. He has a bacterium that is slowly breaking down his stomach. He responded to drug treatments for several months but his body has created an immunity and is resisting medication." Dr. Mazaki explained, bringing him up to date on Sawada's condition, Dr. Tayama nodded.

"Have you suggested surgical intervention?" Dr. Tayama asked, Dr. Mazaki nodded.

"Yes, and he is persistent on refusing any forms of surgery." Dr. Mazaki replied, Dr. Tayama nodded again, now he understood his colleague's frustration and need for a consult.

"Hm…" Dr. Tayama said thinking, he had an idea.

"Did he just refuse any surgical procedures or any form of medical procedures in general?" Dr. Tayama asked, Dr. Mazaki tilted his head in confusion.

"What's the difference? A medical procedure is a medical procedure regardless of how invasive it is." Dr. Mazaki replied, however Dr. Tayama smirked.

"Well, yes but what I was trying to get at is dialysis." Dr. Tayama, Dr. Mazaki stared at him for a second.

"I don't know if that would work, his system has been flushed out with medication, he doesn't need dialysis to do that." Dr. Mazaki said trying to understand his colleague's theory.

"Yes, I assumed that but if you cleaned out his system using dialysis, it's possible that it could break down the bacterium or at least keep it from spreading." Dr. Mazaki looked down at Shin's chart, thinking. It was true, Shin had refused surgery not treatment all together, he said he was open to alternative treatments, and dialysis was certainly alternative. Yet, he knew there was not a hundred-percent chance of success and Shin did not seem to like to try something unless it was guaranteed success or he had no other option.

"That's an idea alright, I'll run it by him and see if he's open to it, I'm not sure if he will be but it's worth a shot at this point, thanks." Dr. Mazaki said offering his colleague a smile, Dr. Tayama smiled back standing up.

"All in a day's work, well page me if you need anything else but I have to get back to my rounds." Dr. Tayama said, Dr. Mazaki nodded.

"I will, and thanks again."

"Keep me posted on this kid of yours and what he decided to do." Dr. Tayama said at the door.

"I will, thanks." Dr. Mazaki said again before Dr. Tayama left closing his door behind him. Maybe just maybe Shin would go for this.

_**So it's official, I am the worst updater in history on fanfiction. I really am very very very sorry that I always take so long to update, but please stick with this story if you find it interesting, I really appreciate it.**_

_**I apologize if again medically I didn't get everything accurate, I'm not a doctor or anything but I tried to get some research on dialysis.**_

_**I'm trying to keep this story moving and I'm pretty sure where I want this to go so hang in there and bear with me for a little bit but I promise I WILL finish this story. Thanks for anyone who is still reading this story and have stuck with it from its beginnings. And I apologize again for not updating in forever: D**_

_**As always reviews are greatly appreciated, they help give me the inspiration to update: D**_

_**Thanks again,**_

_**Fantasyforever1989**_


	13. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I do not own Gokusen or any of the characters all rights go to their respective owners.

It was late in the afternoon and Shin was growing impatient. Mazaki-sensei had said that he wanted to keep him for a 24-hour observation, but when he had asked when he could leave that morning, Mazaki-sensei merely said soon. He cursed under his breath and looked down at the IV drip that was still stuck in his arm. It took all his will power to not pull the thing out and sign the discharge papers at the front desk. He looked up as the door to his room was opened, hoping it was Mazaki-sensei telling him he was free to go home, only to find Kuma, Kuro, and Uchi once again in his room.

"Yo." Uchi said sitting down in one of the chairs next to Shin's bed. Kuro and Kuma followed him and sat on the other side of the bed.

"Please tell me you're here to get me out of this place." Shin said, the three of them looked at each other and laughed, Shin seemed to be feeling better.

"So…how are you feeling?" Kuro asked anyways, studying Shin he didn't look as pale and didn't appear to be in much pain like before.

"Better if I could leave this damn place I feel fine." Shin muttered annoyed. Kuro smirked at his friend. Shin was never one to be cooped up or a fan of being told what to do; being stuck in a hospital bed involved both.

"Did that doctor say when you can go home?" Kuma asked.

"Sometime today hopefully but he hasn't gotten back to me about it since this morning. I could just check myself out, if he doesn't come soon I will." Shin replied, picking at the IV.

"Is that a good idea? I mean if the doctor thinks you should stay…" Kuma began.

"I feel fine Kuma!" Shin said louder than he meant to.

Besides from being extremely tired and aching, this was true for the most part. He didn't feel on the verge of puking anymore and at the moment he didn't have any pain in his stomach. All Shin wanted to do was go home and sleep the rest of the day, then hopefully go back to work tomorrow. He hated that he had already missed so much work as is, luckily when he had called off this morning Renjiro had been very understanding and told him to call when he would be able to work again. He suddenly thought of Kaori, he hadn't called him and he knew that he was supposed to work with him today.

He had also thought about calling Natsumi, he wasn't a minor so the hospital didn't have to contact his parents, but he knew Natsumi would worry and ditch school to come see him if necessary. The last thing Shin wanted was his sister worrying over him by his bedside, so he decided not to call her. Although Natsumi didn't agree with his decision, out of respect Natsumi respected Shin's wishes and did not tell their parents that he was back in Japan. She felt that as his parents, they should know what was going on with their son, but Shin was stuck on them not even knowing he was back in town, let alone about his current condition.

"I've had enough of my share of hospitals." Shin murmured sitting up in the bed.

"You've only been here for a day." Uchi said laughing a little.

"An hour is too long to spend in a hospital." Shin growled, his bad mood not lighting in the least.

"You hungry? I brought some leftovers from the restaurant." Kuma said holding up a white bag. Shin made a face, his stomach felt okay right now but he hadn't eaten in a while; he didn't want to risk eating and getting sick later.

"Uhhh….I think I'll pass thanks." Shin said, Kuma nodded.

"Well you can reheat it later if you want." Kuma said with a smile and set the bag on his nightstand.

"Thanks." Shin said offering Kuma a weak smile.

With his friends there, Shin slowly started to relax, he was still annoyed and wanted to go home but waiting in a hospital was more bearable with company.

Kuma, Kuro, and Uchi had been there over an hour when Mazaki-sensei walked in.

"Hello again." Mazaki-sensei said to Kuma, Uchi, and Kuro, who all bowed slightly in greeting.

"So do you have my discharge papers?"Shin asked, Mazaki-sensei smiled at him.

"Yes, Sawada-san you can go home, your tests look good, but before you go I'd like to discuss something with you." Mazaki-sensei began, glancing over at Uchi on the other side of the bed; Shin followed his train of thought.

"Its fine just say it, doesn't matter with them here." Shin muttered, he didn't want to discuss his condition in front of his friends but if it meant being able to leave this damn place sooner, he would put up with it. Mazaki-sensei nodded.

"Okay then, well Sawada-san I know you refused surgery but I discussed some options with a colleague of mine and there is no guarantee that it will work, but if you would be willing to try I would like to start you on dialysis. Dialysis flushes out and cleans your system, there is a chance it could flush out the bacterium. It's very simple and doesn't hurt. "Mazaki-sensei explained then stopped and waited for Shin to respond.

Shin's face was emotionless, it was impossible to figure out what was going on inside his head, his eyes had a hard edge to them, telling Kuro that he was deep in thought, but he also knew that the likelihood of Shin sharing those thoughts out loud were not very high.

"But you can't guarantee it will work? Could it make me worse?" Shin asked in a monotone voice without emotion. Mazaki-sensei had to repress a sigh; he knew Shin would ask that.

"No, I can't guarantee it will work and yes it could make you worse. The way dialysis works is we hook you up to a machine and your blood runs through it and filters it out then the filtered blood goes back in your bloodstream. However, with a bacterium, you could go into shock or the bacterium could be spread throughout your bloodstream when the blood re-enters your body." Mazaki-sensei explained, Shin looked down at the sheets and let out a small sigh, it was his first sign of emotion.

"No." he said flatly after a minute of strained silence.

"Dialysis is not invasive at all Sawada and is painless, it takes a long time, but you won't feel anything. " Mazaki-sensei encouraged, hoping to change the boy's mind.

"But it could make me worse or do nothing, so no." Shin said in the same emotionless voice.

"Shin…."Uchi started but Shin looked up and glared him.

"Don't start" Shin said coldly, knowing full well what Uchi was about to say. He wasn't in the mood to have a doctor and his friends gain up on him. They didn't know what this was like, they didn't understand.

"Can I go home now?" Shin asked coldly, Mazaki-sensei hesitated for a second then nodded, there was no medically logical reason to keep Sawada hospitalized, and he was stable and could function fine. He set his clipboard down with his discharge papers in front of Shin and handed him a pen to sign them. He then reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a prescription pad before scribbling off a script and handing that also to Shin.

"This is the pill form of the medication you are now." Mazaki-sensei said, pointing to the IV bag, Shin nodded.

"Two pills, three times a day, the label on the bottle has the instructions, throw away any leftovers of the medication you were taking before it won't help you any now." Mazaki-sensei instructed, Shin nodded his head to show he heard him then handed his filled out discharge papers back to him. Mazaki-sensei scribbled off his signature on the papers then set down the clipboard and gently took Shin's arm in his.

"You may feel a pinch." Mazaki-sensei said before gently pulling the needle out of his arm and unhooking the IV then taped over the spot on Shin's arm where the needle had been inserted.

"You're clothes are in the bottom drawer of the nightstand, get that prescription filled before you leave alright?" Mazaki-sensei said, Shin just nodded again, he wasn't in the mood for talking. With the IV out of his hand Shin got off the bed and grabbed his clothes from the drawer than quickly went into the bathroom to change. When he came back into the room he noticed that Kuma was gone.

"Where'd Kuma go?" Shin asked

"He went to go get that prescription filled; he should be back in a few minutes." Uchi said, Shin nodded again.

He sat down on one of the plastic chairs, not saying a word. He knew that Uchi and Kuro wanted to talk about the dialysis but he didn't so he just sat there with his mouth shut. After a few minutes of strained silence it was Kuro he spoke first.

"So…that dialysis thing…." Kuro started, Shin glared at him, his eyes like ice.

"I thought that by being quiet you got that I don't want to talk about it." Shin said his voice cold and icy. Kuro just sat back and sighed, Shin was stubborn as ever. Luckily, they were spared anymore awkward silence just then when Kuma walked back into the room with a small white bag in his hand.

"Here." Kuma said, handing the medication to Shin.

"Thanks." Shin muttered then stood up and walked out of the room with Kuma, Uchi, and Kuro behind him. When they got outside, Uchi stopped him from walking any further.

"Where are you going Shin?" he asked.

"Baka, where do you think I'm going? I'm going home." Shin replied walking around Uchi.

"At least let us take you back there. I have my car with me." Kuma said. Shin gritted his teeth, not having to walk all the way home or spend money on a taxi or bus did sound nice. He let out a sigh then turned and nodded.

"Fine." He murmured. Kuma smiled and led the way to his car.

Shin climbed into the backseat and stared at the window, not paying attention to anyone else in the car.

"Dialysis." He said silently to himself. The common sense in him told him that he was just being stubborn and that it was worth it to try, yet at the same time, his stubbornness and pride told him that it was pointless to pursue. He had spent so much time with doctors, and medications, and debating surgery and other treatments that part of him just didn't want to deal with it anymore. Not to mention there was no guarantees with anything. The surgery wasn't guaranteed success neither was this dialysis treatment.

Before Shin realized it they had arrived at his apartment. He wished that Kuma would just drop him off and leave but of course he didn't. He found a parking space nearby and the four of them climbed out of the car. Once inside his apartment Shin plopped down on his bed and laid down. He never thought a bed felt so good. He wanted to fall asleep right then and there but he opened one eye and glanced at Kuro who was sitting at the other end of the bed.

"You guys don't have to stay." Shin mumbled into his pillow, Kuro laughed.

"Shin, we can't understand you when you are talking into your pillow." Kuro said. Shin groaned and rolled over so he was on his side.

"I said you don't have to stay." Shin repeated curling up on his side.

"Don't push us away Shin." Uchi said quietly next to Kuro.

"I'm not." Shin muttered with his eyes closed.

"You're trying to…You don't want to deal with any of this and we want to help you though it so you're pushing us away so you can keep being stubborn and avoiding anything that might possibly help you." Uchi said in a calm voice, Shin's eyes narrowed at him.

"Stop acting like you get it, you don't have to deal with shit, so just stop it." Shin said coldly.

"Shouldn't you guys be at work anyways?" Shin asked. They all shook their heads.

"Shin, it's after 6:00 most people are done with work by this time." Kuro answered.

"And Ami's watching the restaurant until I get back." Kuma added, Shin nodded but continued to stay silent.

Shin was about to retort when he jumped at the sound of his phone going off. Groaning, he dug into his pocket and fumbled getting his phone out, it was Kaori, he had to bite his tongue to suppress another groan and wordlessly handed his phone to Uchi.

"Answer it and tell him I'm fine." Shin muttered, not in the mood to explain his condition. Uchi looked a little surprised but took the phone.

"Uh….Sawada Shin's phone." Uchi answered feeling a little strange.

"Shin?" the voice on the other line said sounding a little confused.

"No, I'm a friend of his, he um….is kind of busy right now, but he wanted me to tell you that he's okay." Uchi said awkwardly, Kaori rolled his eyes. This at least told him that Shin was out of the hospital.

"Fine, just tell him that I was calling to see how's he doing and if he needs help with anything to let me know." Kaori said.

"Sure…I'll let him know." Uchi replied. Kaori thanked him then hung up, if Shin wasn't up to talk to him that was fine, at least it seemed he wasn't alone.

"So, who was that?" Uchi asked hanging up and handing the phone back to Shin.

"A friend I work with." Shin answered sleepily. Since he laid down, he was quickly becoming drowsy. Kuro seemed to notice this and shook him gently.

"Shin, you have to take your medication before you go to sleep." Kuro said, Shin groaned.

"Come on Shin." Kuro said giving him another small shake. Against his will, Shin sat up and took the pills and glass of water that Kuro had then laid back down ready to fall asleep. Within ten minutes he was out cold.

"So what do we do now?" Uchi asked.

"Yankumi?" Kuma suggested, knowing that Uchi was really asking how are we going to get Shin to get some form of treatment.

"Maybe, or Natsumi?" Kuro said with a shrug.

"Maybe." Uchi said with a sigh looking over at Shin. He knew they needed to do something or Shin was going to cause himself more pain and suffering. Shin had been through so much in his life at home, in high school, now this. If there was a way they could fine to help him, he promised himself they would.

_**Hi everyone,**_

_**Okay, so I don't really like how this chapter turned out, but I promise it will get more interesting. **_

_**I want to apologize for the medical inaccuracy again in this story. But, I'm going to try and tweak my original idea to make this story more medically accurate.**_

_**As always reviews are greatly appreciated PLEASE review I really do appreciate them good or bad I just like to know what people think of my stories and writing in general.**_

_**Thanks,**_

_**Fantasyforever1989**_


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